Poor Dottie

Keep rockin, and keep knockin. Sucka.

Amazingly I'm awake before 10 a.m. for once. Yesterday I didn't drag myself out of bed until noon, and didn't take a single breath outside of my house for the entire day. What a lazy waste of a day. Brilliant.
I literally woke up, had some sushi for lunch, then napped the afternoon away.

This weekend was a full one, and I made some solid rounds in TO and Barrie.

Since I'm such a fucking swell guy, I offered to take a full carload of stuff from KP's storage unit up to TO for her. So I loaded all sorts of shit into the old Subi on Thursday and headed to Barrie for a few days. Grabbed dad's iPoo-ed from the UPS store on the way into town.

Went out to dinner at Boston Pizza with Shan, then hit up some glow in the dark mini-putt followed by drinkin. Got wasted and ended up crashing at her pad, but not before waking her mom up with my rendition of Keri Hilson/Kanye's Knock You Down. The following morning I got chirped for my singing skills.

Had lunch with "Flo" on Friday, and wouldn't you knowit, she was hankering for a certain salad found only at Boston Pizza. So I strolled in again, hungover as fuck, with a different girl. And since I didn't make it home, I was fully clad in Thursday's attire. TLC's "I don't want know scrub" was running through my mind. Money.

After that solid catch-up I dropped in and saw Jay for a few hours. It had been awhile since I'd seen any of those 3, so it was good to catch up.

Friday night was Big Al's 60th birthday dinner in TO. We hit a Greek joint somewhere down on the Danforth. We showed up right on time for our 7:30 reservation... and stood around for 25 minutes waiting to be seated. What the fuck is the point of a reservation??? Assholes. The meal was good, despite our server's rack of ingrish. Greek styles, of course.

Stopped in at a gig for a couple hours after dinner. The band was called The Mason Rack Band. The lead singer/guitarist was impressively good. Recordings don't do this guy justice.
A ~40 year old woman was clearly on some sort of drug, and dancing her ass off in front of the the tiny little audience. Side-embarrassing. Then some d-bag dressed up as Jack Sparrow showed up, but claimed to speak very little English. He did say "my bitch is coming" though. Lo and behold, his bitch was the crazy black woman from the Pirates series. They made assholes of themselves on the dancefloor too.

Stopped in and saw Jenny that night after the gig, and caught up with her for a few hours.

The following morning, my brother blew a tire on his car, so I had to follow him to the dealership and drive him back to my dad's place. This all delayed my dropping-off of KPs stuff, which had been severly restricting my rearview vision for days. Finally got down to her place and her family helped me unpack the car. I think everyone was a little surprised just how much shit I had in there. She's got an impressively cute and cool new roomie, but unfortunately she's off the market. Rats.

After that I ran down to meet Findlay for lunch at a place called Utopia. Pretty cool little restaurant. I ate an awesome Bison burger. Mmmmmmm. Dropped him off at home, then made my way back to my dad's in order to follow my bro down to the Halloween party in Guelph.

I was the Incredible Hulk this year. Nothing too interesting happened that night, since we just hung out with the usual suspects at Thompo's place. Got nice and shithammered though.

Then Sunday I made my way back to London. All in all it was a pretty solid weekend.


p.s. I love this look. Especially the chocolate brown squeezer!

The Schwiggity

Swine flu, swine flu. It's here, it's queer, it's going to kill your babies.

I'm already tired of it. The news, the fear, the confusion, the shots. Borrrring. Karma might tell me otherwise if I end up puking and shitting at the same time, but what can you do? I'm pretty much a hermit these days anyway - spending 90% of my time in my own house doing sweet fuck all.

As much as I love sleeping in, it does get a little boring. Not to mention the lack of income. Thus far I've done a good job of spending very little money though, which is good. And I'm EI eligible in a few days so that'll be gravy.



A new "law" came into effect the other day - no more cellphones in cars in Ontario. Good riddance. I can't count how many times I've had hoseheads fucking up my day by typing or talking on phones. There's a ton of shitty drivers out there anyway, and cells turn those problem drivers into catastrophes. Too bad the fuckers aren't gonna get ticketed for it for another 4 months or so. I'm gonna start writing down license plates once tickets are the norm.

Pops turned 60 the other day too. Happy bday maaaaaan.

Takin' pictures of a tidal wave, on the shore grinnin' a hundred feet away

Welly welly welly, changes are afoot young grasshoppa's.

First things first, in three days I am out of a job. I've always said that this whole economic crash thing hasn't changed the way I've rocked out, but karma's a bitch I guess.
My company just lacks revenue at the moment, and for a few weeks I'll be unemployed. Hello EI!
But by the look of things I'll be back in the game soon with a contract at the university in the engineering department. Always looks good on the ol' resume... and after the contract is finished it might be time for me to get my ass back to school. Time will tell I guess.

Last weekend was a good one, got to see a bunch of old friends back home, got to install some flooring with my brother (fun times. ugh.), got some good thanksgiving eats, and had about 400 loonies dropped on some badass additions to my wardrobe. I'll be big pimpin' for Vegas.
Also went out to some album release thing for a band my dad likes. Pretty good show, and even though we showed up after the opening act was done, we got front row seats cuz my dad knows guys at the venue. Sick shit.
Unfortunately I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to back home, and I was actually planning to head back to Barrie this weekend, but it didn't happen.

Went out to see the band boys at the Frog on friday, met some interesting characters and got absolutely shithammered. Even played chess that night for the first time in years. Drinking chess of course. Then I nursed an atrocious hangover all day saturday (thought I was gonna blow chunks a few times, but survived) and went out as a wingman for a buddy that night. Interesting evening to say the least. Predrank at a pad with some fine lookin ladies, a rambunctious dog who nearly bit through my jeans, and two fucking cats who sent my allergies off. Then we took off to another predrink for a bday party, and it was a raging vagina monologue of about 20 girls and 4 guys. Can't complain though. *Visions of that sea of tits from that shitty Josh Hartnett movie* Bling bling.
I can complain about the bar of choice though. Up On Carling - never been there before, at least not since it was Old Chi-cougars back in the day.
Let's just say there's a first and last time for everything... and that was it. Shitty music, not chill at all, and those creepy weirdos on the side of the dancefloor reeked of STDs.
They even put that fuckin black guy in the bathroom for my pity change. Go fuck yourself buddy, I'm the least interested in your squeegie-kid-come-affirmative-action-but-actually-just-embarrassment-and-humiliation bullshit. Fuck.

Went to the mall today and finally got 4 pairs of pants shortened. They were just sitting in my closet forever, longing to be cut. Sitting there, fucking staring my in the face - day in, day out. I feel so free now hahaha.

Won all three games of dodgeball today, despite massive amounts of cheating on the other side of the court. Taped up my shoulder again, and it helped alot. I was on fire today, just picking people off left right and fuckin centre. Literally balls of smoke and flames were coming out of my hands and into the gunts of unsuspecting opponents. Sheeeeit. Didn't take any shots to the face or head today, but alot of my teammates did. Suckas.

Hot damn its almost midnight and I gotta get some sleep.

Take the good wit the bad, happy wit the sad

Ok, so I was flicking channels to find a good football game on sunday, and I came across the Discovery Channel showing a documentary-style show about wild hogs in the US. And the hunters they were interviewing were such yokels, they actually had to put subtitles on the screen so you could decipher their jibberish. Fuck da south.

Then I came across "In the Womb" which is a completely badass show about the development of different fetuses in the animal kingdom. Incredibly cool. Saw one a while ago about the kangaroo - hands down the most disgusting display of nature in motion that I've ever seen.

Let's see, what's new...



Two weekends ago there were a ton of plans, most of which collapsed entirely. Didn't make it to TO for the 80s party on the friday; didn't get to TO on time saturday to do anything but swim in a saltwater pool for half an hour; didn't make it to St. Kitts for the golf tourny (which got cancelled due to the shitty rain anyway); didn't make it to Grape and Wine; didn't get into the Factor's pad for hours that night cuz he bailed to the rippers. Got a hot girl's number though... what what!

Lots of hockey drafts in the past few weeks. Got some solid teams methinks. Hopefully that'll pay off with some cash money at the end of the year.

Last weekend was homecoming down here in Londontown. Went out for a casual beer on the friday night, which turned into a casual dozen, and an atrocious hangover the next day. Solid night though.
Started drinking at about 11 am at the pancake kegger on saturday, but had to take a nap midday. Woke up in a panic at about 7 pm, thinking it was 7 am on monday. Ugh, the life of a working stiff. Got shithammered again that night, and saw a ton of ppl from the old school era. Good times.


Work has been killing me for about a month now. Tons of OT on the books, which explains my lack of posting. It wears me out like it's nobody's business, and without a nap today I'd be screwed for tomorrow. Today was go-go-go from 8-430. Barely had time to breathe.

Went out to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs last night. Pretty funny. Went with my one-and-only 3D girl - never seen anything in 3D without her... weird.



Sidenotes

The Ugly:

• My $400 dollar glasses got shattered off my face in dodgeball last weekend. Adios Buddy Holly.
  
• My iPoo'd drained completely this week and couldn't be recharged.

The Bad:

• My shoulder is a complete wreck from dodgeball. Tried taping it last time, didn't help.
• This makes me laugh uncontrollably. Bad times for that mofo! "Long Live Berlusconi" - direct quote from Berlusconi himself. hahahaha classic.
  

The Good:

• Found $5 on my driveway this morning.
• Won a McGriddle (whatever the fuck that is) on my Monopoly from McShits today.
• iPoo'd is currently charging! Fuck yeah!! No idea why it started working again...
• Flintstones Vitamins = Happier Mintvis. Direct correlation, I swears.
  
• Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks.

All Fire on the Inside

I haven't had Dunkaroos in about 10 years or so. Had a pack today. Almost puked.

Work has been sucking the life out of me lately. This damn presentation that was supposed to have been last week, was rescheduled to this afternoon, but yesterday my boss realized that neither she nor I was ready for the thing.
The clients are pissed, but we had to push it back two more days.
And I've been slogging alot of overtime to get the thing done.
I had to go in on Sunday, and put in OT every night this week so far. And I still have to go in tonight for an hour or so to work on stats and shut down some machines.
Fack.

What else is new...

Matt Good's new album is streaming, and it sounds pretty money.
Concert dates announced = partial in my pants.
Massey Hall again? London? Both?

Last weekend was pretty solid. Went up to TO for Em's housewarming party. Good time, ended up just staying in and partying, but I met a ton of new people. There were some highly suspect people, but the bevy of cute chicks made up for it. I even talked to some of them. Shocking, I know...

My old man came down to London for Saturday night. During the day we went down to Port Stanley to set up plans for his 60th bday party. Never been there before, but it seemed pretty legit.

Yakob, my dad and I checked out a band called An Horse from Australia that night. The chill Music Club wasn't the right venue, and I have a feeling they're used to bigger crowds. Decent show though, and afterwards we checked out another band playing in the Club.
It was some rag-tag throw-together that consisted of a grizzled old bastard that looked like Willem Dafoe (kinda looked like he might've killed a man too), a fat child-porn possessing bassist, a fat country singin' woman with a wicked voice, a semi-legit looking trumpeter, and a talkative drummer.
Entertainment baby.
Got pretty boozed, I must say.

Last week I was really energetic and edgy, and the weekend actually calmed me down a bit. But after my dad took off on Sunday I got that old feeling back. The week has since worn me out, but I'm still feelin it.

This weekend should be solid. I've got a dinner party in TO on friday night, then a big hockey draft on saturday in Guelph, followed by golf and boozing.
I've gotta get back to TO on sunday to go birthday shopping with my step-mom, and then bolt back to London for the first games of dodgeball in the new league.
Followed by fuckin Kings of Leon that night.

Thankfully I'll have finished up that presentation on friday, cuz monday might be a wee bit hungover.

Anyway, off to work I go...

The Edge of Western Civ'lization

Well slap me in the face and call me a lesbian.

I never thought I'd say it, but today at the grocery store I bought... tofu.

Life has been boring lately, so I figured I'd try something kinda new, and kinda gutless. The shit was really cheap actually, much cheaper than I thought it'd be. I'll have to mix it into some dirty asian meal that already has beef or chicken in it though. None of that vegetarian shit for me.

I've been watching alot of Californication lately. Hilarious show, and Duchovny is completely badass. Can't wait for the new season to start. The kids used to say I looked like him, back in the day when the X-Files were in their prime.

I pretty much want to be Hank Moody when I grow up.
Writer. Alcoholic. Sex Machine. Hopeless romantic.

On the topic of writing, I've started reading a book that outlines how to become a freelance writer. I'm hopefully going to start a little moonlighting in the next month or two. If not for the money, then for the challenge and the time-consumption.

Can't wait for another exciting week at work!
Yawn...

Beefcaaake

So my new plan to gain weight is as follows:

Option #1
Follow fat people around the grocery store to see what they eat. You know, get inside the head (or in this case I guess it'd be the stomach) of a fat person and really see what makes em tick.

Cheetos - check
Mozza sticks - check
6 different kinds of greasy potato chips - check
40 gallon tub of No Name cola - check
Fresh fruit - IXNAY motherfucker



Option #2
Eat even when I'm not hungry. This is clearly healthier than the first option, and has mad potential for positive results. Just gotta make sure the food is worth putting into my belly.

Option #3
Consume less fluids. I've always found that I tend to buy too much liquid, probably because I usually go shopping on Sundays when I'm hungover to the Nth degree. Not to mention that alot of the foods I generally eat are full of water - i.e. those tasty bell peppers.
More pasta, less water, more Mintvis.

Option #4
Work out more while concurrently following through with #2 and #3.
So lazy though... fuck.

The Year That Wasn't

Quarter Century.
Looking back now, it's hard to believe just how shitty the past year has been.
Far more was lost than gained, I can tell ya that much.

Top 5 Albums

5.

4.

3.
2.1.

Top 5 Songs

5. Stars - Barricade
4. Ryan Adams - Two
3. John Butler Trio - Better Than
2. Fred Eaglesmith - Water in the Fuel
1. The Stills - Being Here

Top 5 Movies

5.

4.3.
2.

1.

All the other girls here are stars, you're the northern lights

At long last, we got a summer weekend. Too bad the first one of the year came in fucking August.


Friday started out with a damsel and myself checking out D's gig in the park, then hitting the Josh Ritter concert, followed by a trip to the Frog to see Hines and Doyle do their musack thing too.

D was good, I haven't seen her in forever. Ran into an old floor-mate who was with her too, and met her parents. Her old man had a hilarious story about the Ceeps. He was money.

Ritter was much better than I expected. There were only a few songs that I didn't recognize, which always makes concerts more fun. As the opening act was finishing up, I ran downstairs to take a piss, and coming out of the washroom I almost walked right into Ritter himself. Tall man. I was side-boozed by the end of the show, considering we had only split a pulled pork sandwich for dinner at ribfest. My lady friend was tipsy enough to think that she knew the names of all the songs based on the first line of lyrics. It was pretty entertaining and hilarious.

i.e. Snow is Gone
Opening lyrics = "birds beneath my window, dustyin their wings upon the lawn..."
Female input = "Oh this song is called 'Birds' right!?"

No dear.

We grabbed some food on the way up Richmond, and made fun of a brutally awkward and creepy kid who was hanging out alone at the park. Until his friend arrived, that is, and they shared a weird embrace...

We only stuck it out at the Frog for a beer, then met up with some really *cough* cool people *un-cough* that my roomie was chillin with for the night at another bar.

Saturday started out and ended with a hangover. I ended up boozing in the park across the street while KP tanned and read a book. We were supposed to go out to a party that night, but Jake-hole mixed up the nights and it turns out the party is next weekend. I did get those two hosers out to D's second gig, and I finally grabbed her CD. Haven't given it a listen yet.
We three roomies split some ribs for dinner, and they were absolutely brutal.
You'd think they'd have decent ribs at a thing called Ribfest. Guess not...
Passed out early that evening. Borrrrrrring.

Sunday a few of us finally managed to get together and hit up Grand Bend for a day at the beach. It was pretty sweet, not to mention the beauty drive through the country. It had been awhile since I could let the wind rip past at a buck-forty with the sun shinin'. Felt good.

That night I was rudely stood up by a friend (bitch, hahaha) who later bought me a few drinks at the bar to apologize.
I ended up partying with a bunch of lads up near Masonville, which involved too many tequila shots and a bit too much flip-cup for my liking. I just can't hack it with beer, it's gotta be the fuckin Merlot baby.

We got booted from Jacks after a beer, and ended up at Jim Bobs, scoping out the jailbait. $2.50 Jagerbombs were devestating.

I finished the night off with a brutal convo with a certain girlie. Classic drunken Mintvis...


Monday I recovered, and nursed a sore ankle from jumping off of the roof from Sunday night's pre-drink. I also bagged myself on that same jump, but it was fine by the morning.

I even dragged my sorry ass out to the tennis courts with Jake for a little exercise. He hilariously whacked himself in the face with his racket and was bleeding pretty badly for awhile.

And today work sucked. What else is new?