Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Edge of Western Civ'lization

Well slap me in the face and call me a lesbian.

I never thought I'd say it, but today at the grocery store I bought... tofu.

Life has been boring lately, so I figured I'd try something kinda new, and kinda gutless. The shit was really cheap actually, much cheaper than I thought it'd be. I'll have to mix it into some dirty asian meal that already has beef or chicken in it though. None of that vegetarian shit for me.

I've been watching alot of Californication lately. Hilarious show, and Duchovny is completely badass. Can't wait for the new season to start. The kids used to say I looked like him, back in the day when the X-Files were in their prime.

I pretty much want to be Hank Moody when I grow up.
Writer. Alcoholic. Sex Machine. Hopeless romantic.

On the topic of writing, I've started reading a book that outlines how to become a freelance writer. I'm hopefully going to start a little moonlighting in the next month or two. If not for the money, then for the challenge and the time-consumption.

Can't wait for another exciting week at work!
Yawn...

Monday, August 24, 2009

Beefcaaake

So my new plan to gain weight is as follows:

Option #1
Follow fat people around the grocery store to see what they eat. You know, get inside the head (or in this case I guess it'd be the stomach) of a fat person and really see what makes em tick.

Cheetos - check
Mozza sticks - check
6 different kinds of greasy potato chips - check
40 gallon tub of No Name cola - check
Fresh fruit - IXNAY motherfucker



Option #2
Eat even when I'm not hungry. This is clearly healthier than the first option, and has mad potential for positive results. Just gotta make sure the food is worth putting into my belly.

Option #3
Consume less fluids. I've always found that I tend to buy too much liquid, probably because I usually go shopping on Sundays when I'm hungover to the Nth degree. Not to mention that alot of the foods I generally eat are full of water - i.e. those tasty bell peppers.
More pasta, less water, more Mintvis.

Option #4
Work out more while concurrently following through with #2 and #3.
So lazy though... fuck.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Year That Wasn't

Quarter Century.
Looking back now, it's hard to believe just how shitty the past year has been.
Far more was lost than gained, I can tell ya that much.

Top 5 Albums

5.
4.
3.
2.1.

Top 5 Songs

5. Stars - Barricade
4. Ryan Adams - Two
3. John Butler Trio - Better Than
2. Fred Eaglesmith - Water in the Fuel
1. The Stills - Being Here

Top 5 Movies

5.
4.3.
2.

1.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

All the other girls here are stars, you're the northern lights

At long last, we got a summer weekend. Too bad the first one of the year came in fucking August.


Friday started out with a damsel and myself checking out D's gig in the park, then hitting the Josh Ritter concert, followed by a trip to the Frog to see Hines and Doyle do their musack thing too.

D was good, I haven't seen her in forever. Ran into an old floor-mate who was with her too, and met her parents. Her old man had a hilarious story about the Ceeps. He was money.

Ritter was much better than I expected. There were only a few songs that I didn't recognize, which always makes concerts more fun. As the opening act was finishing up, I ran downstairs to take a piss, and coming out of the washroom I almost walked right into Ritter himself. Tall man. I was side-boozed by the end of the show, considering we had only split a pulled pork sandwich for dinner at ribfest. My lady friend was tipsy enough to think that she knew the names of all the songs based on the first line of lyrics. It was pretty entertaining and hilarious.

i.e. Snow is Gone
Opening lyrics = "birds beneath my window, dustyin their wings upon the lawn..."
Female input = "Oh this song is called 'Birds' right!?"

No dear.

We grabbed some food on the way up Richmond, and made fun of a brutally awkward and creepy kid who was hanging out alone at the park. Until his friend arrived, that is, and they shared a weird embrace...

We only stuck it out at the Frog for a beer, then met up with some really *cough* cool people *un-cough* that my roomie was chillin with for the night at another bar.

Saturday started out and ended with a hangover. I ended up boozing in the park across the street while KP tanned and read a book. We were supposed to go out to a party that night, but Jake-hole mixed up the nights and it turns out the party is next weekend. I did get those two hosers out to D's second gig, and I finally grabbed her CD. Haven't given it a listen yet.
We three roomies split some ribs for dinner, and they were absolutely brutal.
You'd think they'd have decent ribs at a thing called Ribfest. Guess not...
Passed out early that evening. Borrrrrrring.

Sunday a few of us finally managed to get together and hit up Grand Bend for a day at the beach. It was pretty sweet, not to mention the beauty drive through the country. It had been awhile since I could let the wind rip past at a buck-forty with the sun shinin'. Felt good.

That night I was rudely stood up by a friend (bitch, hahaha) who later bought me a few drinks at the bar to apologize.
I ended up partying with a bunch of lads up near Masonville, which involved too many tequila shots and a bit too much flip-cup for my liking. I just can't hack it with beer, it's gotta be the fuckin Merlot baby.

We got booted from Jacks after a beer, and ended up at Jim Bobs, scoping out the jailbait. $2.50 Jagerbombs were devestating.

I finished the night off with a brutal convo with a certain girlie. Classic drunken Mintvis...


Monday I recovered, and nursed a sore ankle from jumping off of the roof from Sunday night's pre-drink. I also bagged myself on that same jump, but it was fine by the morning.

I even dragged my sorry ass out to the tennis courts with Jake for a little exercise. He hilariously whacked himself in the face with his racket and was bleeding pretty badly for awhile.

And today work sucked. What else is new?