If you don't know me by now...

There are few commercials that make me want to try their product. This is one of em.

Pointless Drivel

If there's one thing in this world that I don't give two sweet fucks about, it's gotta be celebrities.

The news feed on my MSN window came up with a title the other day saying something about the custody battle between Britney Spears and K-Fed.

Like, oh my gawd! I can't, like, believe she could, like, possibly take care of a child. Like, shah...

And ya gotta wonder...

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS

It's unbelievable how much time and money some people will spend on this type of shit. Just look at all the tabloids, all the magazines and newspaper titles, and all the pictures of Joe-Fuckhead and Sally-Slutmaster. It's all a fucking illusion that average people are taught to buy into.

If you buy this product you'll get more sexy women to rub themselves all over you.
If your hair looks like this, you'll land yourself a nice rich businessman and live happily ever after.

Everyone's sent chasing the American dream and watching the goings-on of celebrities instead of trying to actually accomplish something in their own lives. Are we really that boring that we need to live vicariously through someone on TV or in a magazine? Do we really need to live up to these ridiculous airbrushed standards of the world? Should we be dedicating our time to looking at the cellulite piling up on some movie star's ass? Is Tara Reid's nipple all that entertaining? Does a photograph of Lindsay Lohan's snatch improve our lives in some way? And are the perverted photographs of the paparazzi something we really ought to be supporting here people?

Honestly, what the fuck. Try getting your own life.

Write a book.
Volunteer for something.
Read the news paper.
Plant a fucking tree.

At least better yourself or the world in some way, rather than waste time on the mental midgets we're supposed to idolize.

Don't worry Paris, I wouldn't dream of it...

New Year, Same Old Crap

This new year, I have complied a short list of resolutions for everyone that is not me:

• stop wearing those fucking bluetooth earpieces. you look like douchebags.

• if you think of yourself as a big tough man, and attend sporting events, don't drink light beer. light beer is for americans and pussies
  

• enough with the fucking facebook applications

• start wearing clothes that fit you. especially you muffin-toppers and gangsta whiteboy thugs.

• stop buying shitty music. pap bullshit and mindless dancefloor music only exist because somebody buys that crap

• enough with this "support the troops" bullshit. if you really want to support the troops, either a) join the army or b) bring them home before any more get killed

• stop watching pointless shit on television. reality tv is not real so stop kidding yourselves; entertainment tonight has no fucking impact on the real world; and Sally Perfecttits from the OC is never going to fuck you. hell, even Jerry Springer's lead security man's got himself a show now people - don't you think we've gone far enough??

• don't even bother going to the gym. we all know you're gonna show up twice in january and then quit, so save your money