So I'm sitting here in my room feasting on a muffin that I stole from a buffet that seems about a million miles away from my hometown, and I'm struggling to find a way to write about the past week.
It already seems like it's been a month since I was lying on the beach with a drink in my hand, just wondering how I was going to waste the day away.
There's no point in trying to run down each day on its own, cuz all the days and nights blur together due to the massive amount of booze we drank. So I'll just do my best to get the main points across before I forget them forever.
Our possie consisted of myself, my bro Ryan, his girlfriend Angela (aka Mangela), Calder (aka Jeff), Thompson (aka Thompo or Adam), and DeVreede (aka Mark, Devreedo, Cool Ranch, etc. etc.). So that makes 6 of us, and we had 3 rooms total: my bro and Mang in one with a king bed, and then 2 rooms with 2 single beds apiece, with Calder and I as roomies in one, and Thompo with Devreede in the last one.
I'll start out by saying that all sexual exploits will be excluded from this post. It's not my place to speak for other people on the trip, and frankly if I wanna tell someone what I did personally, I'll go out of my way to let them know.
The resort we went to down in the Dominican was called "Bahia Principe", and the fucker was huge. There had to be 130 or so buildings and over 900 rooms for guests. We all had our rooms in one building which was sweet, but they stuck us in the back corner of the resort, which was pretty shitty. The beach was only a few hundred metres away, so that wasn't a big deal, but it did take awhile to get to a bar/get food/stumble home drunkenly at 3 a.m.
The beach itself was probably a kilometer long, and we'd wander back and forth during the days, constantly stopping at the neaest bar for more booze. There was a pool right by the lobby that had a swim-up bar, which was pretty sweet to hang out at during the days. It seemed that our end of the beach was a bredding ground or something for fat old people, most of whom wandered around topless or dans-le-speedo. Pretty sick shit, so we tried to avoid that area the best we could.
Calder and I had a great idea early in the trip - as we wandered the bars, we frequently stopped by our room to fill up bottles with our fovourite -- the double-rum and coke. So by the end of each night we had a few litres of booze just waiting for us in our room.
Cladski and I musta drank a 26er of rum a day, no word of a lie. And that's a 26er apiece, not to share. Granted, the one day we probably each drank a 40, but that put me out of commission for the following night of drinking. The boys of 291 Central would be damn proud of me on this trip, since I could never seem to get drunk this entire year down at school. At least not sloppy drunk, and trust me... I was sloppy in the Dominican.
So sloppy, in fact, that the day of the 40 being consumed, I stumbled home to my bro's room, hammered on the door for awhile until he was good and livid, and then took off for "The Newfies'" room at the other side of the resort. Once I got there, I found out that the otehr boys didnt head back to that room, so I proptly passed out on the ground right outside of their room. (A few days later I learned that more than a few people were calling me "that guy" who passed out on the bare tile for awhile). Upon awkening on the ground, I wandered into a staff only area, and security was called to escort me home after I insisted that I knew the way back to my room. Apparently I was mistaken.
On our 4th night, we made friends with a whole group of girls from good ol' Canada and had a big game of kings. This run-in led to an unprecidendented level of dancing in my life. For the following 4 nights, I musta been on the dancefloor for about 7 hours all told. I bet my lifelong total before that was about 4 hours total, so it was pretty strange to be busting out moves for a long time like that. During the days we all came up with ridiculous moves to try out teh following evening. Some examples included The Sprinkler, Eating Spaghetti, The Bisschop, and my personal favourite - the Lawnmower (which is basically the motion you use when yanking on the cord to start up a lawnmower or outboard motor). All of this was embarassing as fuck, and quite difficult to pull off with two drinks in your hands, but we didn't care cuz who the fuck was gonna call us on it later? Nobody, that's who!
For the following days we hung out with the girls, went kayaking in the ocean, and even went on a snorkelling trip with the 3 girls who were from Oshawa - Katie, Kayla, and Beth. This trip actually took place on our last full day on the resort, and we had an awesome time of it. We started out on a long boatride into a littel tawn and stopped there for awhile.
Next we went to a coral reef to check out the fishes and such. It was definitely the coolest spot to snorkel, cuz there was such a variety of stuff to look at. Unfortunately I don't have any pics yet, as the underwater cameras are still getting processed.
We finished up with a spot that had a big school of "monkey fish" that would feast on bananas that we fed them. After that we headed to a ridiculously nice white-sand beach to chill for an hour or so. While we were there Calder and I defintely heard gunshots in the forest, but noone believed us. And this little Dominican girl came and played with us in the sand, throwing mud and splashing water at DeVreede to announce her arrival into our group. It was priceless watching her have a conversation with Calder, as he stood there with a stupid look on his face (not understanding a word she was saying). At the end of the trip we took this picture, which turned out pretty good if you ask me. (Clockwise from myself it goes: Calder, Thompo, Katie, Beth, Kayla, Mangela, Cool Ranch, Ryan, and back to Mintvis)
It reminds me of that movie "The Beach" when they all jump in the air for that photo.
We were too lazy to jump.
So then the last night we got so shitfaced that I was still drunk at noon when we got on our flight. It doesn't help that Thompo and I didn't get a single wink of sleep, but what can I say?
When in Rome...
I know there's a million things I forgot to mention, and a million things I'll forget far before I'd like to forget them, but such is life. We just might have to call up our girls from the Shwa and see if they wanna hang out sometime soon.
SHAZAAAAAAAAAM (for those of you in-the-know, well... you know what I mean by that)
