Ernest goes to Venezuela?

Call me a hater, but when I saw this picture on the BBC's main page...

I instantly thought of ...

On a serious note, whenever I hear about a political leader passing away, I always consider the possibility that "natural causes" aren't natural at all. 

Don't believe everything that you read, kids.

The busy boring times

This year my holiday season started out with a trip to the Christmas show in Barrie, which is a sickening display of the commercialization of a religious event. Then again, Jesus was probably born sometime in the spring, or so I've been told. I always find it amazing how strongly some people cling to the importance of Christmas Day, even though it's probably a few months off. Further proof that religion isn't anything more than an interpretation of an idea., one that men decided upon centuries ago. Better get out and spend a heap of money to honour the savior though.

And what better gift than a nice little bench depicting Winnie the Pooh going all out cowgirl with Tigger, or maybe Eeyore is more your style? I love the grin on Pooh's face.

I also enjoyed this blitzed-out penguin.He's happy now, but wait for the paranoia to set in, I bet it'll be a sight to see. THE FEAR!!!

 

My holidays this year were actually a ton of fun. We kicked it off back home with  an ugly-sweater party followed by a horrendous hangover. The day of the hangover I had to head back to the party house to retrieve my wallet, and while standing on the porch I witnessed a poor little 17 year-old girl round a corner and lose control on ice, eventually smashing into a neighbours car. I was parked right behind that car, and fortunately I didn't take any damage. I was also fortunate that my parents and brother took care of most of the shopping this year, so I only had a few things to run around to find.

Shan and I took a trip down to Cookstown for shopping, but also to visit her dad's grave. It's amazing that he passed away five years ago, seems like just yesterday. En route to the cemetery we got stuck in a dead-stop traffic jam, which prompted a few drivers to pull U-turns and return to the highway. We figure there was an accident due to the massive amount of blowing snow, and after a few minutes the road cleared up and we started rolling again. Not 200 yards down the road we saw one of the U-turners stuck in the opposite ditch, to which I exclaimed "What a douchebag!" Once we reached the cemetary Shan and I had a long laugh that we would rather ridicule someone than, say, stop and help them out of the ditch. We're such pricks...

After gifts and turkey at my mom's place on Christmas eve, we did the same routine (with ham) at my dad's in TO on Christmas day. My big gift this year was a 50-inch flatscreen, which is quite boner-inducing. I got several other cool gifts along with some stuff for the apartment. The most hilarious gift I got was from my mom - it came in a box about the size and weight you'd expect if you were getting a nice 26er of Johnny Walker or something. I eagerly opened my bottle of Scotch only to find 200 metres of tinfoil. No joke. My brother and his wife sat there with blank expressions on their faces, which exploded into laughter after my mom ran down to the kitchen for some coffee. A short while later I opened a slightly larger and heavier box, again hoping for Crown Royal or something, and joked that "this one must be the Saran Wrap!"

I was ever so pleased to received 914 metres of actual fucking Saran Wrap. What screams GIFT like a kilometer of plastic wrap. First world problems, when put into perspective.

Boxing day was the normal routine of heading down to Chatham for the big family gathering, but Ryan and Mangela couldn't come this year because her family was hosting a similar event. My step-sister, her husband, and my two nieces did make the trip down though. I rode down with my dad, step-mom, and Janu the almost-four-year-old. My highlight was Janu singing "Santa Claus is coming... to WIRE!!" I have no idea how she came up with that, since no wires were in her vicinity, but she seemed to enjoy the lyric.

The dinner was good, and a bunch of us headed over to my cousin Eric's place for several burrs. There was a decent gathering of children so they were all preoccupied running around Eric's new and super sweet house. I'm looking forward to seeing the pool and massive deck in the summer. The adults got worked up with some board games and it was alot of fun catching up with some relatives I don't get to see too often.

The following day my old man and I went out to buy the TV at a solid price, and I headed out for beers with a few buddies. Ended up shooting pool for a few hours then killing the video games at my buddy's work - which is a ridiculous place filled with wide open spaces, free beer, and countless flatscreens. It was actually really nice to be free of the femailiens for a night. Them bitches be crazy.

Speking of, I ended up being the 21st wheel at the NYE party this year, since my date ditched me. I was happy to hear that she was the odd one out at her party too! Yay!

We've since patched that whole thing up, but it's becoming quite apparent that everyone is coupled-up and becoming very middle aged. Methinks ol' Mintvis needs to move back to the big city to be with like-minded folk who still enjoy a solid embarrassing night on the town as singles.

I did teach my middle-aged brother how to bet on sports over the break. He's become accustomed to making $1 wagers and earning a few quarters for his victories. I, on the other hand, do very little research and say"throw $10 on this, $5 on that" etc etc. I think he caught the fever. Unfortunately he pretty much breaks even, since he regularly disregards my stellar advice.

Alas, I've grown tired of this boring post. I need to get back to my novels, which I have actually started... damn this mind-consuming master's degree. Gotta get this shit outta the way and start living again kids!