Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Schwiggity

Swine flu, swine flu. It's here, it's queer, it's going to kill your babies.

I'm already tired of it. The news, the fear, the confusion, the shots. Borrrring. Karma might tell me otherwise if I end up puking and shitting at the same time, but what can you do? I'm pretty much a hermit these days anyway - spending 90% of my time in my own house doing sweet fuck all.

As much as I love sleeping in, it does get a little boring. Not to mention the lack of income. Thus far I've done a good job of spending very little money though, which is good. And I'm EI eligible in a few days so that'll be gravy.



A new "law" came into effect the other day - no more cellphones in cars in Ontario. Good riddance. I can't count how many times I've had hoseheads fucking up my day by typing or talking on phones. There's a ton of shitty drivers out there anyway, and cells turn those problem drivers into catastrophes. Too bad the fuckers aren't gonna get ticketed for it for another 4 months or so. I'm gonna start writing down license plates once tickets are the norm.

Pops turned 60 the other day too. Happy bday maaaaaan.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Takin' pictures of a tidal wave, on the shore grinnin' a hundred feet away

Welly welly welly, changes are afoot young grasshoppa's.

First things first, in three days I am out of a job. I've always said that this whole economic crash thing hasn't changed the way I've rocked out, but karma's a bitch I guess.
My company just lacks revenue at the moment, and for a few weeks I'll be unemployed. Hello EI!
But by the look of things I'll be back in the game soon with a contract at the university in the engineering department. Always looks good on the ol' resume... and after the contract is finished it might be time for me to get my ass back to school. Time will tell I guess.

Last weekend was a good one, got to see a bunch of old friends back home, got to install some flooring with my brother (fun times. ugh.), got some good thanksgiving eats, and had about 400 loonies dropped on some badass additions to my wardrobe. I'll be big pimpin' for Vegas.
Also went out to some album release thing for a band my dad likes. Pretty good show, and even though we showed up after the opening act was done, we got front row seats cuz my dad knows guys at the venue. Sick shit.
Unfortunately I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to back home, and I was actually planning to head back to Barrie this weekend, but it didn't happen.

Went out to see the band boys at the Frog on friday, met some interesting characters and got absolutely shithammered. Even played chess that night for the first time in years. Drinking chess of course. Then I nursed an atrocious hangover all day saturday (thought I was gonna blow chunks a few times, but survived) and went out as a wingman for a buddy that night. Interesting evening to say the least. Predrank at a pad with some fine lookin ladies, a rambunctious dog who nearly bit through my jeans, and two fucking cats who sent my allergies off. Then we took off to another predrink for a bday party, and it was a raging vagina monologue of about 20 girls and 4 guys. Can't complain though. *Visions of that sea of tits from that shitty Josh Hartnett movie* Bling bling.
I can complain about the bar of choice though. Up On Carling - never been there before, at least not since it was Old Chi-cougars back in the day.
Let's just say there's a first and last time for everything... and that was it. Shitty music, not chill at all, and those creepy weirdos on the side of the dancefloor reeked of STDs.
They even put that fuckin black guy in the bathroom for my pity change. Go fuck yourself buddy, I'm the least interested in your squeegie-kid-come-affirmative-action-but-actually-just-embarrassment-and-humiliation bullshit. Fuck.

Went to the mall today and finally got 4 pairs of pants shortened. They were just sitting in my closet forever, longing to be cut. Sitting there, fucking staring my in the face - day in, day out. I feel so free now hahaha.

Won all three games of dodgeball today, despite massive amounts of cheating on the other side of the court. Taped up my shoulder again, and it helped alot. I was on fire today, just picking people off left right and fuckin centre. Literally balls of smoke and flames were coming out of my hands and into the gunts of unsuspecting opponents. Sheeeeit. Didn't take any shots to the face or head today, but alot of my teammates did. Suckas.

Hot damn its almost midnight and I gotta get some sleep.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Take the good wit the bad, happy wit the sad

Ok, so I was flicking channels to find a good football game on sunday, and I came across the Discovery Channel showing a documentary-style show about wild hogs in the US. And the hunters they were interviewing were such yokels, they actually had to put subtitles on the screen so you could decipher their jibberish. Fuck da south.

Then I came across "In the Womb" which is a completely badass show about the development of different fetuses in the animal kingdom. Incredibly cool. Saw one a while ago about the kangaroo - hands down the most disgusting display of nature in motion that I've ever seen.

Let's see, what's new...



Two weekends ago there were a ton of plans, most of which collapsed entirely. Didn't make it to TO for the 80s party on the friday; didn't get to TO on time saturday to do anything but swim in a saltwater pool for half an hour; didn't make it to St. Kitts for the golf tourny (which got cancelled due to the shitty rain anyway); didn't make it to Grape and Wine; didn't get into the Factor's pad for hours that night cuz he bailed to the rippers. Got a hot girl's number though... what what!

Lots of hockey drafts in the past few weeks. Got some solid teams methinks. Hopefully that'll pay off with some cash money at the end of the year.

Last weekend was homecoming down here in Londontown. Went out for a casual beer on the friday night, which turned into a casual dozen, and an atrocious hangover the next day. Solid night though.
Started drinking at about 11 am at the pancake kegger on saturday, but had to take a nap midday. Woke up in a panic at about 7 pm, thinking it was 7 am on monday. Ugh, the life of a working stiff. Got shithammered again that night, and saw a ton of ppl from the old school era. Good times.


Work has been killing me for about a month now. Tons of OT on the books, which explains my lack of posting. It wears me out like it's nobody's business, and without a nap today I'd be screwed for tomorrow. Today was go-go-go from 8-430. Barely had time to breathe.

Went out to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs last night. Pretty funny. Went with my one-and-only 3D girl - never seen anything in 3D without her... weird.



Sidenotes

The Ugly:
  • My $400 dollar glasses got shattered off my face in dodgeball last weekend. Adios Buddy Holly.
  • My iPoo'd drained completely this week and couldn't be recharged.
The Bad:
  • My shoulder is a complete wreck from dodgeball. Tried taping it last time, didn't help.
  • This makes me laugh uncontrollably. Bad times for that mofo! "Long Live Berlusconi" - direct quote from Berlusconi himself. hahahaha classic.
The Good:
  • Found $5 on my driveway this morning.
  • Won a McGriddle (whatever the fuck that is) on my Monopoly from McShits today.
  • iPoo'd is currently charging! Fuck yeah!! No idea why it started working again...
  • Flintstones Vitamins = Happier Mintvis. Direct correlation, I swears.
  • Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks.