We had some massive highs... we had some crushing lows

Every now and then I wake up after a night of heavy drinking and I feel fucking invincible.
It's a great feeling, let me tell ya.
It usually comes on when I don't have a hangover. And today is just one of those days. Yesterday I was brutally hungover from a ridiculous night of drinking on friday, but today I feel like a million bucks.

Speaking of, I did not win the lottery last week. Not even close.
But I feel like I'm due to win someday. $50 mil sounds like a nice round number to me.
I'll play the next big one.

This weekend was full of ridiculous conversations and terrible moments. At the same time it's the most fun I've had in awhile. I'm pretty much all over the map.
Massive highs.
Crushing lows.

If I hadn't received a phone call from a certain hungover girl on saturday I'd be on depression row at the moment. Fortunately the call came and I'm alright.

Last night ol' B-rad and I partied it up on the roof of the downtown Starbucks, at a friend's apartment. I had actually only met the girl once before, but she seems pretty cool. Too bad she's moving out of that pad in a week. It was sick. We had to squeeze out a window and climb on top of AC units to get to the rooftop. Lots of bitties at the party.

I made some terrible comments to the "cushy-ab girl" and I really need to call her to apologize for that. I might've just put the last nail in the coffin with her. We shall see...

I've come to the realization that once I get some booze in me, I'll pretty much say anything. And I mean fucking anything. My normally weak-sauce brain-to-mouth filter dissolves completely and I say whatever I want, regardless of the consequences. I should really work on that.

Saw Terminator yesterday, and that 3D Monsters vs. Aliens the other night too. Both were about as good as I expected. Gotta hit up Star Trek this week.

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now

I always was better with a pen than I could ever be with the spoken word.

She told me I should be a writer, so here goes...

Tonight I've started writing the book I've been thinking about writing for years. It's going to be a memoir or sorts, running through the first quarter century of my life. All the regrets, the self indulgence, the stupidity, the great moments, the tragedies, and all the little things that piled up to spit out the over-analyzing fool you see before you today.
I'm gonna call it My Back Pages, circa Bob Dylan.

At this point I feel like it's going to end up as a mess of incoherent rambling and anecdotes that come out in no particular order. But organization can wait.
And once I get this behemoth written, I'll start into some fiction. Maybe a novel, maybe a collection of stories like Doghouse Roses. Get published with that, then bust out the personal shit.

Sell a million copies.
Make a million dollars.
Get the girl.

Who's the pitchers in this game?

Life never bothered to give me lemons. I just got onions instead.

Most days that I'm feeling shitty, I try to remind myself that we're all just tubes of meat held up by bones with blood rocketing through our bodies to keep us breathing.
We all have to eat, we all have to shit.
We're all just animals with overblown emotions that evolved into the things we now know as love/hate/fear/trust/jealousy/etc.

But some days it's a little harder to just accept that life as an animal ain't so bad. Some days things are as bad as they seem, and it's next to impossible to convince yourself otherwise.

Today was one of those days for me.

Everything may be coming up Millhouse, but nothing is coming up Mintvis.

And I think tomorrow is going to be one of those days that I just won't want to get out of bed at all.

I'll have to face a friend who's currently digging a knife in my back, a job that has turned into something it was never supposed to be, and a myriad of depressing realizations about my life that are pretty hard to take.
Then to top it off, in the evening I'll be seeing the girl whose heart I tore in two, for no apparent reason. And I still haven't made peace with that. Not by a long shot.



I already watched I Am Legend tonight, and I think it might be time for a little Cast Away.

Another day of decomposin' light

I have to say the recent change of scenery has done alot for my mood.
The past few days have been much less shitty, I do say.
I think the nice weather is helping too.
For the record, I think that bogus "disease" called seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is complete shit. James and I were talking about it the other day, and we got to thinking... if everyone feels shitty and depressed cuz it's cold, miserable, and dark all the time, how the hell can you call that a disorder? If we all have the same problem, it's not exactly special when one person bitches about it more than the rest. They're just complainers.

Anyway, the party last weekend was pretty solid. Killed a Texas mickey of Wiser's, which is kinda surprising, considering we had about half a dozen people at our place when the clock hit 9 p.m. I guess everyone was saving themselves for later in the night.
I can't say that I remember much beyond midnight, mainly due to the porchcrawler effect.

If you wanna make a porchcrawler, empty a can of frozen lemonade into a jug, fill that can with whiskey (or vodka if you choose) and toss it in, and then add 3 beers. Tastes like lemonade and it'll get you proper fucked.

My bro was gooned by the time anyone really showed up, and he paid for it in puke the next day. I think a few people ended up puking that night too, and apparently some dude took a wicked tumble out our front door and onto his face.

We even had birthday cake for James and Jake-hole.
It was kinda sad to be missing a few key members of our crew, but we had a great time regardless.

I thought I'd have trouble getting back into the work cycle this week, since every other time I've moved it's meant a change from school-to-job or vice versa. But it wasn't bad at all. I'm fairly motivated despite the lack of results I've been getting, and I'm hoping we sort some shit out in the next week or two. Mind you, a new project is starting up, so I might get pulled away from my main focus for awhile.

Back to the weather thing, I do love the summer dresses (see above) but when April ended I noticed a drastic drop in the amount of bitties running around this town. Sad tale, but I'm not exactly surprised. I'm sure there'll be a ton of girlies out on the patios this summer to gawk at.

I, myself, have even pulled my ass off the couch for a few runs already (hard to believe, I know). They last about 12 minutes since I have the endurance of a geriatric, but it's gotta improve. Can't get much worse than it is right now...

Exercise makes me hungry for secondary dinners.
Adieu.