Thursday, January 12, 2012

Open Letter


Dear OC Transpo,

Have you ever heard of the horror movie “The Human Centipede”?

To summarize, a demented surgeon kidnaps and incapacitates unsuspecting victims. He then surgically grafts the mouth of one victim to the anus of another. He does this procedure twice, linking three people together in a chain, and the human centipede is born.

A short while ago I was waiting for the 101 in morning rush hour. This is a bus that’s supposed to come every 10 minutes. After 30 minutes of waiting (something that happens regularly), I finally saw my bus roll around the bend. I then noticed that another 101 was right on its tail. As the first bus pulled up to my stop, I noticed a third bus following the first two. All were showing the same route – 101. And there wasn’t a single car separating the buses, they were just sucking on each other’s exhaust pipes. It was an angering sight for every passenger on that route, let me tell you.

The look of this ridiculous string of buses reminded me of The Human Centipede, and I came up with the following analogy: The buses are the human bodies from the movie, with the drivers being the brains of the people trapped in the terrible situation. OC Transpo as a whole is obviously the demented surgeon. And the passengers? Well, we’re the ones that get on at the front and get off at the back. It’s hardly any wonder everyone hates OC Transpo when you treat us all like feces.

Good day.