Eye of the Tiger

After months of dicking around, I finally hit the eye doctor last week.
I'm convinced that the plug I used to see up in Barrie was an amateur, since the contacts he ordered for me were allegedly useful in both eyes, meanwhile each eye definitely has a different prescription. Figure that one out.

The dude I saw last week was pretty good, though his office was tiny and his receptionist was a joke. I had to laugh that he had a poster on the wall of Tiger Woods plugging for Lasik eye surgery. Too bad it wasn't a poster of him plugging some cocktail waitress. HEY-O!
What's his tally at now? 8 or 9?? Those endorsement deals are gonna dry up faster than a puddle in the Sahara. Sheeeeeeeit.


Fortunately I didn't get the blast of air in my eyes like I always used to, but this time I did get a test done that I'd never had before.
I've never had any drops put in my eyes, but he did one set to test for internal pressure and one to dilate my pupils so he could see inside. I looked like I was stoned out of my mind on shrooms all day. Not to mention the fact that I had to drive home in the bright sun right after the exam. I was squinting like a Chinese welder, let me tell ya.

And with the brightness problem comes the inability to focus on things that are close to you. So I sat round in the dark all day watching shitty tv.

Anyway, I'm gonna test some new contacts out this week, and my 2 new pairs of glasses are due in sometime this week as well. So I'm all set. too bad I'm also all poor now.
Pissin me off...

Far enough wasn't far enough

A few weeks ago my step-brother Brandon got married down in the U.S. and A.
Orlando, Florida to be exact. So my bro, mom, and step-dad went down for a few days to relax and meet the new family and obviously hit up the wedding.

My plug brother actually had to cancel the first two days of the trip to stay in Barrie for a job interview, which meant that I had to head down to Buffalo to fly out on my own. My parents ended up driving down to do some different things along the way. Not to mention my mom isn't exactly cool with flying, and I'm sure that had alot to do with it.

So there I am at the border, with minimal information on the flight and absolutely no info on the wedding, and I run into a prick border guard asking me if I'm going to the States to find a job. And he didn't believe me about the wedding either, probably because the other tool on the flight info wasn't there. After extensive questioning and being pulled aside to have my car x-rayed, then came the strip search.
I actually pooped in the girl's hand during the cavity search. Talk about embarrassing...

Just kidding of course, but that one prick did hold me up for a long time, which meant that I barely made my flight on time.

Upon arrival in FLA (cool airport btw), we went to grab some food and buy the wedding gifts at a nearby mall. And the fat fucks down there were errrrvrywhere. It's unreal how bad it is, and it's encouraged me to hit the gym pretty much every other day since I've been home. Not that I need to lose weight, but it's a reminder how unhealthy most people are.

With Orlando came one guarantee for the trip -Disneyworld!! Yaaaay!

I was surprised to find that it was actually broken up into a bunch of separate parks, and unfortunately I only had one full day free while I was down there, and it happened to be the day that everyone was hitting the Epcott Centre.



It was pretty cool, and we got to ride most of the cool rides and everything. It kinda sucked that daylight saving had just come a few days before, and it got late really early. But it was kinda cool to see the whole countries-of-the-world things that was set up around the lake in the park.


I also met the whole Welsh crew that was there, since Brandon's wife Sian is from Wales. Lots of cool people, and some interesting characters in there too. Met a bunch of my stepdad's family too, most of whom were from the states, but a few Canadians made the trip too.

My bro and I spent some serious time mackin' on some bitches when he finally arrived:



















But seriously the park and surrounding area was unreasonably devoid of women, not counting the 60 year-olds of course. And there were only two possibles at the wedding, one of whom disappeared at about 10:30, and the second one ended up fooling around (and thensome??) with her cousin. I even made the comment, "So... you guys are cousins right?"

Anyway, the weather was relatively shit, so I couln't get a tan. Thank you very much hurricane Ike. Ya prick. And it's too bad we weren't on the coast, because all of the weather reports said there were huge waves on all the beaches due to the pressure changes caused by Ike the Dyke. Fucking landlocked city...

I was hungover as fuck the next day for the flight home, and traffic home was a hoor and a half. All around it was a good trip though. Too bad they won't be paying my EI while I was away. Rats.