Shake me, wake me

Lately I've been feeling unbelievably disconnected from the world.

It's as if I'm falling farther and farther behind on readings I don't even have to complete, and every day it feels like a mounting burden of absolutely nothing is piling up. I've been sitting on ideas for months and even years; never getting them on paper or the screen - it's all just a jumble of notes in my head that are starting to get lost under new ideas that soon become the old and the lost.

Last summer I was in a profoundly different state of mind. It's something that's very difficult to explain - like witnessing something spectacular and then trying to reiterate the event to someone else. It's as if you had to be there to see it yourself, or you'd have no goddamn clue what I was talking about. The words make sense and all, but you'd still have no sense of what I truly meant. It's very frustrating, but I'll do my best to explain:

I felt as if I understood the way everything in the world fit together. The pieces of the puzzle were all falling into place - I saw the mundane as valuable and the materialistic as weak. I saw people for who they truly were (not just the masks that they show the rest of the world), and the networks that connect us were finally starting to make sense in a large scale. I felt like I was hovering above the rest of the world just watching, and laughing at the idiots below.

Imagine climbing a wall of knowledge or understanding, but you know full well that if you reach the top your own weight would send everything crashing to the ground. Well I climbed and climbed, and just as I reached the top to stick my head over and see what the other side held, I chose to jump off backwards and quit. The unknown on the other side was more valuable than anything, but the risk of collapse seemed all-too-imminent.

And man did I ever hit the ground hard. In the past year it seems as if my once impermeable values and morals have come apart at the seams. I've found myself in situations that I despise and I've wasted so much time, energy, and money on things that once meant nothing to me. I used to be above the commonplace and cliche, but I've slipped onto the level with the average.

Things are undoubtedly on the rise, but even now the things that once lifted me above everything are failing to have their impact. I miss the good old days when I could sit there and listen to the History Teacher albums and travel to the ocean, or 1 York, or back to my youth - in an instant. I miss having dreams at night that didn't disappear a few minutes after I awoke. I miss the times that I used to sit down and actually finish a thought before I got bored with it and had to find something else to occupy me. And I miss the contentment I used to get from a single song or movie - now it's almost like I need to be listening to a song, watching a movie, and playing a video game while reading a book - all at the same damn time.

The world seems to be slipping past me as I struggle against the current. With so much happening in the world, and so little drive to comment on it, it's hardly any wonder that I write on here so infrequently. Every time I sit down to write I get sidetracked, or bored, or frustrated with myself, and I usually just quit.

The one thing that's been helping a ton is the oldschool Motown bands. The Foundations, Four Tops, The Temptations, The Supremes, Stevie Wonder, Otis Redding, Smokey Robinson, Ben E. King, and Aretha Franklin can work wonders if your head's off in space.

I highly recommend you check that shit out.

We fall asleep as the world falls apart

The above picture shows Israeli children writing messages on bombs bound for Lebanon.

In sitting down to finally write about the recent events in the Middle East, I don't really know where to start. With the Hezbollah kidnappings? With the Israeli response? With the rockets flying back into Israel? With the media bias? With Iran's involvement? With the lack of international peacekeeping? With the diversion of attention from Iraq and Gaza? Or maybe something else all together...

I guess I'll start with the word hypocrisy.

The US is supposed to be an ally to Lebanon ever since a democratic government has been in place, yet they're supplying the bombs for Israel's attack. Granted, this government hasn't been able to control Hezbollah, but it's rather diffucult when the strongest firepower is held by the militant group (a group that happens to be supported by Iran). Even still, it looks like Lebanon is a friend of the US, but Israel just happens to be a better friend. Roadmap to peace my ass. Afterall, peace isn't profitable to a warmonger, so why would the US want peace at all? I suppose it's all just fluffy politics that allows the average American to rest easy when laying in bed at night.

Next up we have the Israeli's themselves. Now, I can't support the acts of any "terrorist" group such as Hezbollah, because flinging up the proverbial rock at someone is not the way things should be accomplished in a civilized world. However, the Israeli response has been so ridiculously disproportionate to the initial violence, it's difficult to believe that they're concerned with the lives of civilians at all. UN officials have even condemned the scale of attack that's been unleashed upon Lebanon. At what point does the "good guy" become the "terrorist"? As far as I can tell, that line has been crossed by a huge margin. Bombing known civilian areas, Red Cross vehicles, bridges and other infrastructure, and hospitals is hardly a military operation meant to target "the enemy". When a country lowers its standards to the level of those that would employ reckless violence to achieve political goals, are they really worthy of the title "civil society"?

On top of this, the boulder-flinging employed by Israel will not help them in the long run. Do you think the average Lebanese citizen (who may or may not have supported Hezbollah in the past) will forgive Israel for the death and mass destruction they have delivered? Or do you suppose they might start to believe in Hezbollah and the principles that it stands for? I'm leaning towards the latter.

And then there's the UN. All told, the UN is a joke. If the US wants to illegally invade a country, they're allowed to do so, all the while ignoring the UN. But what if the entire UN were to disagree with the US? They'd still have their veto power, so what the fuck is the point? They've been sitting around with their thumbs up their asses in this crisis because they're essentially handcuffed by their own association. All the while, Israeli and Lebanese civilians are dying.

Our PM Stephen Harper's token response (after draggin his feet) was nothing more than a photo-op to paint a nice picture for the media. I'd be willing to bet that the thousands of other Canadians left behind couldn't give a sweet fuck less about Harper's help. Not to mention the family of Canadians that was killed by an Israeli air strike last week. I guess that's just another statistic to add to the list.

I've also been thinking of this little scenario: what if two innocent American citizens were killed by a Hezbollah missile as they were vacationing in Israel - and at the exact same time 20 Americans were killed by a bomb dropped from an Israeli plane while they were vactioning in Beirut. Question A: Which is the bigger tragedy? Question B: Who would the US be angry with? Question C: Do you get my point yet?

And one final thing I've got to mention - how can Israel justify saying "We'll stop bombing Lebanon if the Lebanese government can get Hezbollah under control"? After bombing the shit out of the country, how can they be brought under control? They weren't even controllable beforehand, so making that statement is akin to saying "If you stop breathing, we'll let you live."

Regardless of which side you're on, or who you choose to blame, it's fair to say that most people just want the rocket attacks and dropping of bombs to stop. Unless, of course, you're on moral and intellectual par with those involved.

If that's the case, all the pity in the world to ya.

My very own 'Dear John' letter

Dear John,

I've only known you a short while and I already know you're a huge douchebag. The first day I worked with you I thought you were an alright guy, maybe a little too happy for our line of work, but I thought you'd get the hang of things and settle into our way of life. Boy howdy was I wrong!

Now, I know you've worked for a similar company in the past, but you frankly know fuck-all about what we do. It's good to ask questions and to learn, but it is not good to question your superiors and challenge their way of doing things. The fact is you are a prawn to their shark in the food chain, and unless you shut the fuck up, you might just get bitten. Even by a little seabass, such as myself.

It doesn't help that your wife is the breadwinner in your house - this just leads you to the line of thinking that you shouldn't have to work as hard as we do or do things the "hard way", cuz in reality you don't need the money. Well guess what, we do need the money, and if the world was a fair place you'd be the one slaving all day while we all went home to our rich wives and huge houses on waterfront properties. Speaking of this, why do you feel the need to call the harder-working guys "lazy" while we all know that you are the laziest fucker of the group? Sure, the grizzled vets might need to take it easy once in awhile, but they've earned it and you haven't. So deal with it.

Then there's your talk about the girls and women we see while we're working... arguably the most irritating trait you have. You seem to think that every single woman in the world wants you and only you. Guess what - you're about 50 with thinning grey hair and a weathered face. When the girls stop to look, honk, wave, or yell at us they're not fucking doing these things for you! I'm the only one around who's remotely the same age as these females, and you still think they're eyeing you up! You say things like, "You get the ugly one" when two girls walk by, or, "Someday I'll get you to look at the girls" when I choose to ignore your stupid remarks. Unlike you, I don't feel the need to prove my manliness at every fucking moment of the day, and I certainly don't feel the need to prove anything to you.

Which brings me to my next point - despite how much of a pig you are towards women, and how manly you think you are, your homosexual tendencies make us very uncomfortable. You do more gay things than the rest of us combined, but you seem to be blissfully ignorant of your actions. Now I'm not against gays, but why the fuck do you cross your legs on a hot day at a public BBQ? It's hot as fuck out and the rest of us are doing our best cowboy walks to air out our boys, but you sit there like a lady at a cocktail party. I'm just waiting for you to start bobbing your leg up and down, and I just might snap. And why do you put both of your feet up on the dashboard as we're coasting down the road while I drive? What the fuck is that all about? And why do you wave your hand like it's a dead fish when you're telling someone how far to back up in a truck? None of us try to do this in a manly way, but you should really start trying. It's embarrassing.

On top of that, you're a straight up pussy. You hurt yourself, and I see the look on your face, and I can't help thinking 'my god, he's about to cry!'. You cut your finger and say "ow!" and bitch, while the rest of us say "fuck!" and then promptly shut up about the incident. And if someone does have a small injury or something, don't flip the fuck out! Shit happens, we'll survive. Oh, and sometimes safety doesn't come first in our daily routine, please accept that.
I also remember the very first day you were on the job, you asked me where we kept the hand cleaner, and I just gave you a weird look and said, "What the fuck is that?". Our job is filthy, you're going to get dirty so I suggest you stop being such a crybaby. You've covered all the upholstery in your car with sheets anyway, so what does it matter if your hands are dirty? Maybe you can't suck on your thumb or something, and that's why you get so upset. I don't know for sure - I'm not a pediatrician.
I can tell by the way you talk about your son that he's already following in daddy's footsteps. I hope he doesn't end up like you.

Maybe you're a homophobe or something like that. (That would explain your mindset vs. actions paradox. After all, I hear that's a good clue that someone might actually be gay, but can't accept it.)

The following is a list of things that also piss me off:

- stop shouting in my goddamn ear when you're two feet away -- I can hear you.
- don't constantly question my judgments -- I may be 30 yrs younger than you, but I know much more than you do and I know the way things work. So trust me when I tell you to do something.
- stop telling me the same stories 3 times in a day, then twice the next goddamn day -- it's boring.
- don't pout when you get yelled at for being an idiot -- nobody respects that kind of shit.
- you don't always have to be in the middle of everything -- sometimes we want to dig a hole without you grabbing the fucking shovel out of our hands.
- stop saying that everything we do is "Fucking perfect! I mean you can't get any better than that!" -- we slap shit together and fuck up sometimes. You can't just say everything's OK and then it'll be OK, we might need to re-do the job.
- don't start doing things without first checking with someone who knows the skinny -- you fuck up far too often.
- you say that you'll work in any weather or heat, but not in the rain. Then we get a hot day and you bitch about that too -- just admit it, you don't want to work at all.
- don't call a communal truck "My truck" after a week on the job -- it makes employers want to fire you.
- stop stating the brutally obvious, such as "It's going to get hot, now that the sun is out" -- no shit you stupid goon, the sun tends to heat things up a bit.
- stop pissing and moaning about other guys being in a bad mood -- you are the reason they're grumpy, you're just too stupid to see that. So shut the fuck up and they might be easier to work with; easier for both you and me.
- you eat like a fucking starving baboon -- get some manners you prick.
- I don't care about your boat -- as far as I'm concerned you can shove it up your ass with the prop spinning full blast.

And stop saying "yummy mummy" you idiot. Good-looking women think you're a plug and the sight of you makes them want to puke their guts out until they have dry heaves.


Regards,

MINTVIS

And the "Worst Burger" prize goes to... the Whopper!

Well the World Cup has come and gone, and the only ones still waving their flags are the fucking Italians.

Personally, if I was an Italian supporter, I'd have dropped the flag from my car the moment that pansy took a dive against the Ausi's to advance in the semi's. They didn't deserve to win that game, not to mention the entire tournament.

And then there's the infamous comment by Marco Materazzi that got Zinedine Zidane booted from the final game, "We all know you are the son of a terrorist whore."

Hold your heads high you classy people, hold them high.

My two teams were the Dutch and the English.

Holland looked like crap to start the tournament, but improved as they moved along. And if it wasn't for that fucking Portugese bastard Deco, I bet they'd have gone farther. Oddly enough, a German was suspeneded from a game after officials reviewed video of him throwing a punch at an opponent, but Deco didn't get suspended for his headbutt. Stupid shite.

Speaking of shite, the English never looked like a team that knew what they were doing. Beckham's free kick goal was a highlight, but beyond that they couldn't get much else done it seemed. That one English plug (I forget his name) had the most shots in the tournament, but didn't score a single damn goal! And the fact that Portugal put out both the Dutch and The Limeys just makes me hate them more. Fuck you, you bastards.

Oh, and fuck all that diving bullshit too. There's a reason so many people think soccer is a joke, and that's because of the crap that goes on with flagarant dives. If every diving player was red-carded, I bet the sport would earn alot of cred that it deserves. Here's a video from MG on the topic. I'd post it on here, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to get a YouTube video to come up on this blog.

Shut up and sing or yer life will be over

Mad props to the Dixie Chicks yo.
And I don't often give props to anyone or anything, since it's a stupid fucking saying.

Regardless, their latest single "Not Ready to Make Nice" (which I'm sure every Canadian has heard about 100 times) is a bold statement that's brought them back into the spotlight after a few years off. As far as I've heard, they debuted at the top spot on the Billboard charts with their new album Taking The Long Way.

Apparently their return was eagerly awaited by most in the music community (save for the South), with everyone wondering what message they'd bring with them after the whole Bush-bashing thing back in 2003. They were on tour in Europe when Natalie Maines stated at a live show in London, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."

Gotta love the balls on that statement eh? But naturally it brought alot of fallout from them thar Americans down in Shotgun Country.

This from 2003:

Jake Easton
Updated April 23, 2003

If they were looking for a reaction, they certainly didn't have to wait long. Radio stations across the country have been busy dropping their music like a rock.

Angry phone calls flooded Nashville radio station WKDF-FM on Thursday, some calling for a boycott of the Texas trio's music. Jeff Garrison, program director for KILT in Houston said, "People are shocked, we've got them off the air. They cannot believe Texas' own have attacked the state and the President," Garrison said.

At Dallas radio station "99.5 The Wolf," program director Paul Williams said, "the comments touched a deep nerve in Texas because they came from one of the biggest country groups to come out of the state and were directed at a President who calls Texas home."

WDAF-AM (610), 61 Country, in Kansas City even held a Dixie 'chicken toss' party, where Chick critics were encouraged to dump the group's tapes, CDs and concert tickets into trash cans. WDAF program director Ted Cramer said about 100 people showed up, and the 125 or so CDs collected will be shipped back to the band's record label.

Nothin' quite like a gun-carrying patriot with a hard-on for any free speech or intellignet thought.

Shut up and believe everything that you hear! Those who step out of line are FUCKING COMMIES!! Hang the traitors!!! ... and so on and soforth.

Now the video for the song is alright, but I can't say I'm a huge fan of it. I do find it interesting that they use the famous line, "To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming". The irony of that is quite funny when you look at it: the women who said this traitorous comment about Bushy are clearly intelligent enough to question the status quo, while those who boycott them and send death threats are the ones who blindly trust their commander in chief and shoot without aiming. Figuratively if not literally; don't forget the whole 2nd amendment dealie they have down there.

The group is set to start their tour soon, and they'll even be making stops off in good old London and Toronto, Ontario. Though ticket sales have been lower than expected, I can't say I'm surprised -- Those that ought to be heard in the world are usually the ones who have to yell the loudest to be noticed.

Good News Everyone!

It's just been announced that the mintastic show that is Futurama will be airing brand spankin' new episodes!



This from Reuters:

By Andrew Wallenstein
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - "Futurama" has a future.

Comedy Central has resurrected the former Fox animated series from "The Simpsons" creator Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. At least 13 new episodes will be produced -- the first since the series' original run from 1999-2003.

The new batch is part of a deal the cable network made with 20th Century Fox Television last year to pick up syndicated rights to the existing "Futurama" library of 72 episodes. Comedy Central also had an option to air any new episodes produced.

New and old episodes will begin airing in 2008 on Comedy Central. Actors Billy West, Katey Sagal and John DiMaggio have agreed to return as voices for "Futurama."

"We are thrilled that Matt Groening and 20th Century Fox Television have decided to produce new episodes of 'Futurama' and that Comedy Central will be the first to air them," said David Bernath, senior vice president for programming at the network.

"There is a deep and passionate fan base for this intelligent and very funny show that matches perfectly with our audience, and it is great that we can offer them not just the existing library but something they've never seen as well."

"Futurama" isn't the first series to return to air after cancellation. The Fox animated series "Family Guy" returned to the network last year after getting a second wind on DVD and late-night cable.

It's too bad it won't be back for another couple of years, but that'll just make it ever better when the new episodes finally air.
This show's gotta be one of my fav's, and I own the whole collection of DVDs that exist right now. The show's got more wit than most cartoons, and I like the whole mix of 3D stuff into normal cartoon format.

The one I miss the most is Dr. John Zoidberg. What a fucking dynamite lobster he is.

Runnin down the road tryin to loosen my load, I got 20 women on my mind. 10 that wanna stone me, 10 that wanna bone me, most of em are friends of mine

A couple weeks ago I was awakened in the morning not by my alarm clock, but by a dream of a girl. A girl I hadn't dreamed of in a long time, and I have no idea why she popped into my mind that night.

But since then I've been doing some thinking about all the girls in my life. Those that have come and gone, and those that are still in my life.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize that every single one of them sees me in a different light. I suppose the same can be said about all of the people I know, cuz even the smallest action or first impression can forver change the way someone sees you.

But in all fairness, I do some of the stupidest things with girls. It's not often that I'd send a guy a ridiculous drunken email at 3 a.m. (I'm sure I have, but it wouldn't have the same content.... if ya know what i mean. hahaha).
On the same token, I do some of the nicest things for girls, and I know they really appreciate it. Again, things that I wouldn't do for a buddy of mine.

So it's hardly any wonder that some girls see me as an amazing gentleman, and some see me as a comple fucking idiot.

Some harldy know me and think I hung the moon.
Some know me well and think I'm an unitelligent fuckup.
Some have been complete bitches to me, and I can't help but love them.
Some have been amazing to me, but I don't give them the time of day.
Sometimes I make an ass of myself and girls think it's charming.
Sometimes I go out of my way to be a great guy, and girls couldn't care less.

And vice versa for every one of those I just listed.

From all the angles, I find it hard to get a grasp on where I actually fall, though it's undoubtedly in between the extremes. But that begs the question of which girl actually sees me for who I really am. And maybe the answer is... noone at all.
I could be wrong, but it might just be a girl I've yet to meet. My future wife or something like that.


Anyway, I don't know where I was heading with this, it was just something on my mind.

I fucking knew it

You've head of Nostradamus, right?
Introducing *bum-ba-da-dum* --- Nostramintvis!

I knew this summer was gonna be shite at work.

I took a day off last week for my bro's grad down in St Kitter's, and I came back friday only to find that 2 guys from our 5-man crew got fired the day I was gone. Now, the one deserved it cuz he was too lazy for my boss to handle, but I think the other guy just got caught in the crossfire.

His name was Greg, and he was an awesome guy to work with. Always willing to lend a hand if anyone needed it, always friendly (even to people who were being complete pricks), and always easy to talk to about anything.

He could do far more at work than I could hope to do, and I think the boss even realizes it was a mistake to have fired him. He was a definite asset, but now we're pretty fucked.

We just got a new guy today, but he has no experience at all with the kind of stuff we do, so I'm gonna have to be a teacher to a guy whos twice my age cuz the other two know-it-all about the biz, and generally aren't the greatest mentors. It's also kinda weird to be the "superior" to a guy of that age. And the other two guys I work with are probably 50, so it really sucked that my two former co-workers got fired, cuz they were closer to my age. Now it's me and three old dudes.

Wicked

I can harldy wait to work extra hard now that I'm the only one with youthful energy.
Though I'm not exactly a ball of electricity to begin with.

So fuck. We'll see how it goes I guess.

There's a reason that I hate this town...

I've just finished my 2nd week of work back at the old construction job, and it's as if I never left for 8 months, besides the fact that we're down one man. So now we've got a 5-man crew for the summer.

I wanted to stay down in London for the summer, but nothing came together for a lab job or anything like that, so I'm home til September again. Hopefully next year I'll find something that pays well and gets me on the road to a career, something like what my bro has found for now. He's doing an internship with the Blue Jays down in Toronto, and the idiot commutes 2.5 hrs each way everyday, sometimes even on the weekends too. But it's wicked that he got in with them, and hopefully a full-time job results. Failing that, he's still got an awesome stat for his resume.

Plus he can get free tix to games, which is dynamite. I've already been to two games, and already caught me a foul ball! "Mint that shit", I say.

I'm kinda worried that this summer won't be nearly as good as last. I had an awesome time at work, learning new shit all the time, and partying like mad on the weekends with concerts and trips and boozing.
But I fear that now I've learned most of what I need to know at work, and I'll get bored soon. I'm always interested in jobs until I learn everything, then I want to get the fuck out of the place. Shit, a few summers back I was running a machine the size of a garage in my 2nd week on the job at a factory - one my fucking own. There were 8 guys for 4 machines, and they gave me one to control all by my lonesome.

Never work in a factory children, it's bullshit.

And it looks like the concert listing this summer is BS compared to last year too. Plus I already missed getting tix for Hillside this year, they sold out with shitty bands cuz there was so much attention drawn by the ridiculous talent they had there last summer. Fucking bastards.

But at least the summer should go quick. I've been running around non-stop for the last month, and it flew by fast. And with all the shit I've got planned for weekends coming up, I know the rest of the summer will be gone before I know it.

That's probably a good thing, since I hate this fucking town.
It's all the little things about the city, the people, and my parents' place that really annoy me.

Apparently thug life has taken over the youth around here, and you should see the fuckin jokes wandering the streets that used to be in highschool when I was there. Literally dozens and dozens of losers that I wouldn't want to talk to in a million goddamn years, and they all think they're the king shit of this town. The one-horse town that it is...

It took a night of drinking downtown to remind me just how much I want to leave here. Some might say I'm an elitist now that I'm a Western kid, and I think I'm to good for this town. But the truth is, I'm the kind of person who outgrows things when they need to be grown out of.

This town is full of more hicks than you'd think - the type of gay-bashing, Nascar-watching, mullet-sporting, gun-toting, unintelligent fuckups that are the proverbial skidmark on the underpants of society.

It's all well and good when you're a kid and don't know any better or notice. But once you've seen what's out there in the world, certain places feel like cages.


If someone could please open the door and let me out, that would be phenomenal.

Paradise Lost

So I'm sitting here in my room feasting on a muffin that I stole from a buffet that seems about a million miles away from my hometown, and I'm struggling to find a way to write about the past week.
It already seems like it's been a month since I was lying on the beach with a drink in my hand, just wondering how I was going to waste the day away.

There's no point in trying to run down each day on its own, cuz all the days and nights blur together due to the massive amount of booze we drank. So I'll just do my best to get the main points across before I forget them forever.

Our possie consisted of myself, my bro Ryan, his girlfriend Angela (aka Mangela), Calder (aka Jeff), Thompson (aka Thompo or Adam), and DeVreede (aka Mark, Devreedo, Cool Ranch, etc. etc.). So that makes 6 of us, and we had 3 rooms total: my bro and Mang in one with a king bed, and then 2 rooms with 2 single beds apiece, with Calder and I as roomies in one, and Thompo with Devreede in the last one.

I'll start out by saying that all sexual exploits will be excluded from this post. It's not my place to speak for other people on the trip, and frankly if I wanna tell someone what I did personally, I'll go out of my way to let them know.

The resort we went to down in the Dominican was called "Bahia Principe", and the fucker was huge. There had to be 130 or so buildings and over 900 rooms for guests. We all had our rooms in one building which was sweet, but they stuck us in the back corner of the resort, which was pretty shitty. The beach was only a few hundred metres away, so that wasn't a big deal, but it did take awhile to get to a bar/get food/stumble home drunkenly at 3 a.m.

The beach itself was probably a kilometer long, and we'd wander back and forth during the days, constantly stopping at the neaest bar for more booze. There was a pool right by the lobby that had a swim-up bar, which was pretty sweet to hang out at during the days. It seemed that our end of the beach was a bredding ground or something for fat old people, most of whom wandered around topless or dans-le-speedo. Pretty sick shit, so we tried to avoid that area the best we could.

Calder and I had a great idea early in the trip - as we wandered the bars, we frequently stopped by our room to fill up bottles with our fovourite -- the double-rum and coke. So by the end of each night we had a few litres of booze just waiting for us in our room.

Cladski and I musta drank a 26er of rum a day, no word of a lie. And that's a 26er apiece, not to share. Granted, the one day we probably each drank a 40, but that put me out of commission for the following night of drinking. The boys of 291 Central would be damn proud of me on this trip, since I could never seem to get drunk this entire year down at school. At least not sloppy drunk, and trust me... I was sloppy in the Dominican.

So sloppy, in fact, that the day of the 40 being consumed, I stumbled home to my bro's room, hammered on the door for awhile until he was good and livid, and then took off for "The Newfies'" room at the other side of the resort. Once I got there, I found out that the otehr boys didnt head back to that room, so I proptly passed out on the ground right outside of their room. (A few days later I learned that more than a few people were calling me "that guy" who passed out on the bare tile for awhile). Upon awkening on the ground, I wandered into a staff only area, and security was called to escort me home after I insisted that I knew the way back to my room. Apparently I was mistaken.

On our 4th night, we made friends with a whole group of girls from good ol' Canada and had a big game of kings. This run-in led to an unprecidendented level of dancing in my life. For the following 4 nights, I musta been on the dancefloor for about 7 hours all told. I bet my lifelong total before that was about 4 hours total, so it was pretty strange to be busting out moves for a long time like that. During the days we all came up with ridiculous moves to try out teh following evening. Some examples included The Sprinkler, Eating Spaghetti, The Bisschop, and my personal favourite - the Lawnmower (which is basically the motion you use when yanking on the cord to start up a lawnmower or outboard motor). All of this was embarassing as fuck, and quite difficult to pull off with two drinks in your hands, but we didn't care cuz who the fuck was gonna call us on it later? Nobody, that's who!

For the following days we hung out with the girls, went kayaking in the ocean, and even went on a snorkelling trip with the 3 girls who were from Oshawa - Katie, Kayla, and Beth. This trip actually took place on our last full day on the resort, and we had an awesome time of it. We started out on a long boatride into a littel tawn and stopped there for awhile.

Next we went to a coral reef to check out the fishes and such. It was definitely the coolest spot to snorkel, cuz there was such a variety of stuff to look at. Unfortunately I don't have any pics yet, as the underwater cameras are still getting processed.

We finished up with a spot that had a big school of "monkey fish" that would feast on bananas that we fed them. After that we headed to a ridiculously nice white-sand beach to chill for an hour or so. While we were there Calder and I defintely heard gunshots in the forest, but noone believed us. And this little Dominican girl came and played with us in the sand, throwing mud and splashing water at DeVreede to announce her arrival into our group. It was priceless watching her have a conversation with Calder, as he stood there with a stupid look on his face (not understanding a word she was saying). At the end of the trip we took this picture, which turned out pretty good if you ask me. (Clockwise from myself it goes: Calder, Thompo, Katie, Beth, Kayla, Mangela, Cool Ranch, Ryan, and back to Mintvis)

It reminds me of that movie "The Beach" when they all jump in the air for that photo.


We were too lazy to jump.

So then the last night we got so shitfaced that I was still drunk at noon when we got on our flight. It doesn't help that Thompo and I didn't get a single wink of sleep, but what can I say?
When in Rome...

I know there's a million things I forgot to mention, and a million things I'll forget far before I'd like to forget them, but such is life. We just might have to call up our girls from the Shwa and see if they wanna hang out sometime soon.

SHAZAAAAAAAAAM (for those of you in-the-know, well... you know what I mean by that)