Only Lonely (because we choose to be)

It's easy to fall asleep under the stars when you're alone. Unless, that is, you remember all the times you weren't by yourself on a clear night like this.
It's always the memory that gets you.
Maybe another swig of booze will dull the memories, let's give it a try.
Nope, no better.
Maybe a pill? What is this shit anyway? They tell you what it is, but who really knows with that type of dude. Could be anything really. Who cares, don't take it.

Isn't it funny how some days no matter what you try, you just feel the same?
You listen to a mellow song to calm yourself down, but you're just too damn full of life.
You talk to an old friend to cheer yourself up, but you still feel like you've got pins and needles in your heart.
Don't move.
It always hurts more when you move.
Just try to fall asleep.

If you pretend to fall asleep noone will ever suspect otherwise. And if you pretend for long enough, you're bound to fall asleep for real.
At least that's the idea.

But on a night like this it never works.
Your brain's on the Autobahn and someone's cut the brakes.
Maybe it was your heart.
That sneaky bastard always pulls shit like this.
And it's always with impeccable timing.

I'm looking for that star we called our own so long ago.
If only I had a gun I'd shoot it right out of the sky.
I didn't mean that, I apologize.
It's just sad to think that that little speck in oblivion will never die.

The same can't be said for what was once between you and I.
Crying shame, I usually keep my promises in life.
And I usually expect the same from others.
Some people don't take such things to heart.
Not me.
I feel like a fraud whenever my promises dissolve.
I wish everyone did.
I bet the world would be a better place that way, cuz guilt can be a potent ally.
Trust me.

I can feel a warm breeze blowing in, which is a little odd for this time of year.
But I can't complain, it can be cold with noone out here to warm you up.

It's hard to take your eyes off the stars. Even blinking feels like a bastardization of sorts.
It's kinda like starting into a book, then missing all the important parts.
Then the tale turns into some sort of miscarried jumble of ideas.

The air's starting to get heavy.
You gotta love that feeling. Kinda like some invisible blanket being lazily tossed over your bones.
That last line sounds like something a naive 10th grader would write in some fucking poetry class to impress a girl that's way out of his league.
Pure bullshit.
Contrived and forced.
I'm amazed such tripe is tolerated here.
Come to think of it, all that's been said tonight is worthy of the dirtiest trash can you can find.

Clouds have just rolled in.
One by one the stars are fading and the night's becoming mundane, just like any other.
I'd better get home before the rain comes. I can smell it in the distance.

Just as I stand, I'm overcome by the strangest of sights.
To my surprise, there seems to be thousands of us out here in this field.
I've no idea how they all got here, I must be wasted.
There's gotta be a dozen people not a stone's throw away.
They all seem to be getting up to depart, just like me.

But the curious fact is not that they are all out here tonight.
It's the fact that every single one of them is alone.

And that, friends, is unbridled irony.

Yeah motherfucker we're number one, all outta beer so go get your gun

A few weeks back (on Sept 23rd) I wrote a drunken post after taking an online survey, which is something I rarely do. Anyway, I try my best to avoid posting drunken rants, so I saved it as a draft copy to come back to.

I finally get to it now because a strange thing happened the other day as I was surfing my blogroll. It happened when I hit Matt Good's blog, and I saw that he had taken the very survey that I had just done. (I think he posted about it on the 3rd of October.)

And wouldn't you know it, we both got the exact same result. Check out his result here.

It was one of those things that sends a chill down your spine. No wonder I like the dude so much, we seem to be on the same wavelength.

Anyway, here's my original post from September (slightly edited):

My roommate asked me the other day where I stood on the political spectrum. I told him I didn't really know, which was weird to say. I've voted Liberal everytime I had the chance just to keep the Conservatives out of office. But despite my criticism of many people and positions, I've rarely considered exactly where I stand.

So I took this stupid online survey dealie today that told me I was a Socialist. Whatever the fuck that means.

The one question in the survey that struck me as odd went something like this: "The lives of several foreign people are worth a single American life."

An I can't help but ask... what the fuck?!?!?!!??!

Considering several thousand 'foreigners' have been killed just to fill up Joe-American's gas tank, what do you think the average American would say?

For those that would respond "no", I think they're ignorant of the facts, and they're probably lying to themselves so they can go to bed in their Ultramatic and sleep a little better.

More disturbing is the consideration that there are people out there who answer that question with a patriotic HELL YEAH! Following that, they'd likely go shoot off their guns down by the football stadium, or perhaps near a barn. Because after all, what screams America like shooting off a gun.

Ooh Sinner Man! (Nina Simone)

I am not a fan of George W. Bush.
In fact, I pretty much hate the man.
The world would be a much better (dare I say, safer) place if he was never born. Or, more importantly, if he wasn't elected into the White House twice by the "majority" of the American people.
But it's hard to blame just one man for all the problems of the current world, considering that if he wasn't there, it would just be a different evil fuckhead bent on world domination and control.

Now we all know W is a religious man (or at least exploits religion for his own gains). He's even claimed that he was chosen by God to lead the world in democracy etc, etc...
Nonetheless, I have found a way to explain why this man will be sent to hell.

So with out further adieu -

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF GEORGE W BUSH
(in increasing order of severity, as is customary)


1. Lust: Though happily married, GWB is only human. He's got urges and needs that must be satisfied, like any other man. And seeing as he travels the world alot, he has great opportunities to hit up the foreign booty. Chinese, Australian, Russian, Brazilian, Indian, Spanish, German!!! He can pick up ladies anywhere, but for some reason he seems the like the Brits the most...






2. Gluttony: The man has quite the appetite in reality. He's been on a diet for years, and pretty much every single press photo or video you see has been digitally altered. He's actually 352 pounds at present, but he looks like a trim 175! Modern technology wins again! Apparently he also like the taste of the common kitten, I don't know what that's all about.




3. Greed: Not a whole lot needs to be said here. He gets neck-deep in shit yet manages to escape by *gasp* buying his way out of trouble! Money and connections lead to more money and more connections. He's got more money than anyone truly needs. Crooked bastards deserve to go to hell. Especially when they're bathing in dollar bills, all the while with blood dripping from their hands.







4. Sloth: Recent events have only further exposed the truth that W is a lazy motherfucker. He always seems to be sitting around doing diddly-squat when he's needed most. Remember watching him on his ranch before 9/11? That's when he shoulda been working, aand possibly saving America from those plane crashes. Remember when he sat there after the first plane crashed? Listening to that simpleton reading that stupid book? Meanwhile he shoulda been takin' care o' bizness and organizing the government. And remember when those poor black people were wading around in waist-deep water in New Orleans? Well just look at the pic and you can see what he was doing...

5. Wrath: Little Georgie doesn't like alot of things. He doesn't like people who blow things up in America. He doesn't like people who have abortions (sidenote: HE SUPPORTS THE FUCKING DEATH PENALTY!!! if that doesn't scream idiocy and hypocrisy, I don't know what does). He doesn't like people who have more oil, money or power than him. He doesn't like people who don't support his ideals. And all of this anger leads him to drop bombs on innocent people. Anger leads to hate. And hate leads to suffering. It also leads to hell, fucker. Have a nice trip.

6. Envy: Bush is just plain jealous of people with oil. If you have it, he wants it. And he'll do just about anything to get it. Not a very redeeming quality for the leader of such a super country!









7. Pride: This one links up to sin #2 in a way, as he always wants to look better than he actually does. It goes for just more than appearances, he wants the paperwork to look good too! And don't even mention fairness in the media, as the truth would make him look like someone bound for rejection at the pearly gates. Also, he probably seems himself as some sort of "god"; better than most people; deserving of the world. And this fucking patriotism is enough to make me sick.




All of the above + the reality of the world = GWB goes to hell

He might as well just give up and accept his future. That back sweat looks mighty nasty, and it only gets worse with the lakes of lava and sharp rock and such.
Have a pleasant flight.





If you wanna do something interesting, type "worst president ever" into the Google search. I've saved you the trouble cuz I know how lazy you are, you sloth-ing bastards. Check it out HERE.
I think that's very a telling result.

A joke from Big Al

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Introvert to Extrovert

This summer I had a conversation with a friend about the movie The Beach. (If you haven't seen it, it's worth a watch)

It wasn't so much the movie itself, but the idea of abandoning your everyday life in search of something more. Just pack up some shit and leave for some distant shore.

We were discussing the idea, and I brought up the question, "Do you think you could do it? Just leave everything and everyone you've ever known to go on some adventure, maybe never to return?"

She seemed surprised that my answer was "yes".

(In all reality it would never happen. I have my obligations, my friends, family, possessions, yada yada... )

But in a deeper way I completely think I could do it, given the right circumstances. I've never (in my post-childhood years) felt completely at home anywhere. It's not that I don't fit in, or that I'm necessarily unhappy where I am, but it's always seemed that I belonged somewhere else. Even at this moment, as I sit in front of this screen in the wee hours of the morning, I'm thinking of all the places in the world that I could be. It's as if my everyday life is below my standards, but there's no way to get out.

So I imagine packing up a bag of essentials, emptying my bank account into my wallet, and leaving. No goodbye note, no forwarding address, no trace.

Nothing.

I'd travel where the wind blew me, preferably off this continent. I'd work shitty jobs just to get by, and live every single day as if I was planning on dying that night. I'd fall in love for a week, fuck the girl silly, then pack up and leave. No remorse, no regrets. After all, I'd never go back to that place, so what's the difference? Then it's onto a new place.
I'd live like I've always wanted to. I'd say whatever I wanted, do whatever I pleased, then hit the road again. The world would be what I made it, instead of me being what the world had shaped. Time would be meaningless. I'd sleep all day with no responsibilities and swim in the ocean every night.

It would be just fucking grande! Freedom in the most fundamental sense of the word.

But the one part of this story that must be addressed is where does it all end?

At the end of the movie Leo returns to the real world, as true paradise was unattainable. And I suppose I'd come back too. Living day by day probably isn't all it's cracked up to be (just ask a street kid) and I'd need to come back to my friends/family/life again.

And I'd probably miss my cd collection too much.

It's about goddamn time.

I've been out of the loop for awhile with writing, but with good reason. First off it's been a busy couple of weeks. What with moving back to London and all, as well as my persistent state of drunkenness.
I've been meaning to put up a few more top 5's, but haven't gotten to them yet. Maybe I never will, who can say.

And although I've been running around like a fool, I have done a great deal of reading on the web about this whole Katrina thing. I've only seen maybe 5 minutes of TV coverage since I don't watch the tube much anymore. But online I've been reading like a motherfuck.

So I guess it's time to regurgitate some of that stuff, mixing my own opinions in a here and there.


First things first, if you want a general timeline of events, click here.


It's somewhat overwhelming to even try to write about this at all. There seems to be countless things to comment on, and I guess I'll just fire away with all things that come to mind.

To begin with, I gotta admit that at first I didn't pay any mind at all to this hurricane. It seemed like just another storm in the lead-up on the weather network, despite the fact that they were calling this the storm of our generation.

But it soon became apparent that this wasn't a small thing. The media were all over the tragedy before the "protectors" of the country even knew that it had devastated the Gulf Coast entirely. The chaos of lootings and shootings took over, mainly in New Orleans. Then you'd hear about gangs taking over buildings and average people robbing stores just to survive (and in many cases people were seen stealing for personal gain.)
For an interesting story that's been seen around the web, check this out... racism in the media.

Then the whole Superdome fiasco exploded. I heard of 7 year old kids being raped and murdered / women having to go to the bathroom in groups of five / kids playing 10 feet from rotting corpses / aborted children being dumped into trash cans / human waste and garbage everywhere / snipers on the prowl / people shooting at the first of the rescuers / etc. etc. etc.

Human nature came out and reared it's ugly head.

Then we get to the finger-pointing game.

Jon Stewart put it best when he said, "When people don't want to play the blame-game... they're to blame." (for the video of Stewart, along with many other videos, check out Crooks and Liars. They did a good job of keeping the video feeds going through the past few weeks.)

And is it any surprise that Bush got alot of the blame? Surely not, and I couldn't be happier. He chose a man to lead FEMA (The Federal Emergency Management Agency) who had absolutely no skills in this field. The guy's credentials include 'running horse shows'. No joke, that's how up-for-the-job he was. What a fucking joke.

Then Michael Chertoff must be examined. He is, afterall, the head of the DHS (Department of Homeland Security). And he's not much better. Considering the DHS is basically a PR scam to bolster support for the flavour of the week and bring us pictures of smiling faces, that should be no surprise. I bet he couldn't defend even himself from an angry three year-old.
If you want to see his incompetence first-hand, consider this quote and watch the video. "Louisiana is a city that is largely underwater"
Again, what a fucking joke.

Then we get to the prez himself. He urges us all to eat cake and play the ol' guitar while the poor black people suffer and die. He did a quick fly-over of N.O. in his jet apromptlytly ran back to Washington to hide under a rock. It's a shame that rock is being lifted (if you're a neo-con, that is). When he emerged, he visited barely-touched areas to show that he cared. But if he'd gone to the worst areas, he'd probably be dead right now. Bill Maher video here.

Barbara Bush was quoted as saying, "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them." about the people moved to the Houston Astrodome. Classy! And telling... (just imagine if even half of the people there were white. I imagine she'd say something along the lines of 'this is totally unacceptable!')
Fucking Joke!!!

Dick Cheney, while putting on a nice face for the camera, was told to go fuck himself by an average citizen. And apparently this citizen was "a friend of John... nevermind. har dee har har."
All the while he was setting up his buddies to come in and clean up/rebuild the area with contracts that have no profit limits. Sound like Iraq much???
FUCKING JOKE!!!


So now I'm running out of steam and sanity, but I urge you to read Tony Pierce's post. It's by far my favourite in this whole thing. In fact, check out his blog in its entirety. (it takes a few seconds to load up) He does a great job of calling "bullshit" on all the right people. And few people are willing to do that, especially the righties.

All in all, one thing you must consider is this: deep inside you, there is a little man or woman saying "it's about fucking time". It's about time the US is made to pay for its arrogance and warmongering. It's about time GWB is exposed as a completely incompetent FUCKING JOKE of a president. (Even the right cant hide behind gay marriage anymore, and he only has 38% of the pop. vote). It's about time for the world to see that the US is not as all-powerful as they've been preaching.

An it's about time for some change.

This beautiful poison, we drink it down in style.

Last night was the first heavy boozing of the school year.
Today was by far the worst my body has ever endured.

I woke up in a loveseat at KT and D's joint, with no idea where I was.
I moved onto a couch and crashed again, only to wake up a few hours later with a raging headache.
Shortly thereafter I was praying to the porcelain gods.
I then proceeded to puke on-and-off for a solid 5 hours.
My body is sore from heaving and I was uncomfortable as shit all day long.

So now everyone's gone out to have fun, and I'm sitting alone at home.
And aren't we all fucking fools? We poison ourselves again and again (I bet I technically had Alc. Poisoning today) and never seem to learn from our follies.

Until next time...

I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do... but when I awoke I was sure it was true

As usual, I spent far too much money on music this year. After all, I am a real fan who actually pays money for someone's work, unlike all you fuckers who take tunes from the net. Granted, I do that too, but if I like a band after hearing a couple songs, I generally buy their CD's. Regardless...

The Top 5 Albums of the Year:


5. The Arcade Fire - Funeral
It took me forever to buy this one because the price was always so damn high, but I'm glad I did. Full of solid and unique tunes, but there is reason to believe that a follow-up album won't live up to this one. The title of the album comes from the deaths that many of the band members had to deal with as this album was being made. That lead to alot of intensity and dedication to music, but we're left to wonder if that passion will be around for the next record. My guess is not likely, but who knows what will come of things.



4. Joel Plaskett - La De Da
The highly anticipated and acclaimed solo effort from Plaskett didn't disappoint me at all. There's only a couple tunes I don't particularly like, but the majority are dynamite. An album that was recorded for free and written on the road to the studio (in the States) could've bombed, but that just wasn't the case. The first little track sets to tone for some clever songwriting and catchy hooks. This east-coaster is a leader the Canadian-Indy scene, and I suggest you check him out.




3. Green Day - American Idiot
The triumphant return of Green Day couldn't have come at a better time. Oh wait... yes it could've. Maybe before that fucking election in the U.S. At any rate, this is by far the best showing these vet's have put out since the Dookie days. At that was when they were in their prime, 10 bloody years ago! Creativity was high on this politically charged album, and if you haven't heard it yet, you gotta get out and buy it. Personally, I have the special edition with some cool extras. I'll probably scan up some of the photos in the little book I got with the CD, since some of them are pretty cool. You can't help but sing along with this one, and that's exactly what we did at the live show. AMEN!


2. Steve Earle - The Revoultion Starts Now
With the exception of one weird song that's essentially spoken-word with a light musical backing, this record is easy-as-pie to get into. Especially if you have a political streak to you. And if not, there's a few tracks that lack any message in that sense. This has a good mix between serious and funny looks into the state of the U.S. system and players in the new "post-911 world". (what a fucking cliche, shoot me now). My one favourite songs has to be Rich Man's War. Amazing songwriting with a message that's clear as crystal. And if you want to see Earle at Camp Casey, click here. This dude is way underrated in today's music scene, and deserves a world of respect.


1. Stars - Set Yourself on Fire
The standout album of the year for me. I've listened to it dozens of times in the short while that I've had this CD. I remember debating between this one and an old BSS cd, and it's safe to say I made the right choice. It's best to listen to this one from start to finish I find, as the whole album has a good flow to it. The mix of a male and a female sharing the lead-singer role really helps the band create some fresh sounds and also allows for alot of diversity in the music. One of my fav's is the last song, but it's tough to pick a standout track on such an all-around good album.





Honourable Mentions:
Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak
Matthew Good - White Light Rock & Roll Review
Stereophonics - Word Gets Around
The Mars Volta - De-loused in the Comatorium
The Trews - House of Ill Fame
Sum 41 - Chuck

Meet me in Montauk

Find-a-lay musta rubbed off on me, because I went out of my way to see alot of good movies this past year. The five best were hard to pick, but here they are.

Top 5 Movies of the Past Year:

5. The Boondock Saints
Mather bugged me forever to see this one, and I assumed it wasn't anything special. But it turned out to be a really cool movie that posed some interesting questions about true morality and justice. What if you eliminate bad people for the plain and simple fact that they are bad people? Watch the movie and find out. And seeing Willem Dafoe as a gay guy is something... different.





4. Garden State
Zach Braff is best known for his role in Scrubs, but this movie bit seems to be his forte. A simple story about returning home and finding out who he really is, and what really matters in life. Can't wait to see what he comes out with next.







3. The Incredibles
The apex of computer animation with a really cool plotline and characters. The shots featuring fire and water show just how far this shit has come in the past decade. Perfect for a few sequels, and I bet I'll watch them dozens of times too.







2. Crash
I had a whole post about this movie already, but to put it simply: I think everyone should see this movie. It really makes you question your own biases and mindsets. You'll be surprised at the things you realize about yourself.







1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It is better to have loved and lost than to completely forget that love. An amazing look at the possibilities of the future, and how those possibilities can fuck up everything you believe in if you don't handle things responsibly. Jim Carrey and Kate Winslett put on awesome lead performances, and this movie really throws your mind some curveballs. I gotta get out and buy the collector's edition, cuz this one is a legend.

And you'll never read that book again, because the ending's just too fucking hard to take

I went to alot of concerts and saw alot of bands at festivals in the past year. Thus, I gotta comment on the best of the best.

My Top 5 Live Songs of the Past Year:

5. Weakerthans - Plea From a Cat Named Virtue
I saw these boys at the Hillside Music Fest down in Guelph, and they were a standout act. Gotta love a song that's written from the view-point of a cat too. Really clean sound when they did this one live, pretty flawless.

4. Modest Mouse - The View
One of my fav's from Good News, this was one of the very best songs they played down on Olympic Island this summer. The intensity of Isaac Brock during this song was something to behold, especially during the pow-pow-pow-pow part. We got the land, but those pricks have the view.

3. Matthew Good - Suburbia
A total surprise to hear this song, considering it was never even close to being a single, and was from a record that's over five years old. This show was my first at the Kee to Bala, and Matt put this one out there with alot of emotion and skill. Well done sir.

2. Joel Plaskett - Happen Now
This song is a new one off Plaskett's solo album La De Da. My bro, dad, and I were fortunate enough to see Joel in a solo set down in Toronto at the end of the school year. This one was so memorable because of the little red and black 4-string guitar he busted out to perform it. Pete Elkas added in some electric guitar, and it was performed early in the show. Really got the crowd into it, and showed off some serious talent.

1. Gordon Lightfoot - If You Could Read My Mind
I'm willing to bet that 90% of the people who went to Live 8 had absolutely no appreciation for this song, or made much note of Lightfoot at all. But let me tell you, this was the very best song performed that day, the best I saw all year, and possibly the best I've ever seen. Ever.
I heard it again on the radio, and the crowd sounds in the background only added to it. I certainly hope this one gets onto the DVD when it finally comes out. One man with a guitar in hand. Brilliant.