We had some massive highs... we had some crushing lows

Every now and then I wake up after a night of heavy drinking and I feel fucking invincible.
It's a great feeling, let me tell ya.
It usually comes on when I don't have a hangover. And today is just one of those days. Yesterday I was brutally hungover from a ridiculous night of drinking on friday, but today I feel like a million bucks.

Speaking of, I did not win the lottery last week. Not even close.
But I feel like I'm due to win someday. $50 mil sounds like a nice round number to me.
I'll play the next big one.

This weekend was full of ridiculous conversations and terrible moments. At the same time it's the most fun I've had in awhile. I'm pretty much all over the map.
Massive highs.
Crushing lows.

If I hadn't received a phone call from a certain hungover girl on saturday I'd be on depression row at the moment. Fortunately the call came and I'm alright.

Last night ol' B-rad and I partied it up on the roof of the downtown Starbucks, at a friend's apartment. I had actually only met the girl once before, but she seems pretty cool. Too bad she's moving out of that pad in a week. It was sick. We had to squeeze out a window and climb on top of AC units to get to the rooftop. Lots of bitties at the party.

I made some terrible comments to the "cushy-ab girl" and I really need to call her to apologize for that. I might've just put the last nail in the coffin with her. We shall see...

I've come to the realization that once I get some booze in me, I'll pretty much say anything. And I mean fucking anything. My normally weak-sauce brain-to-mouth filter dissolves completely and I say whatever I want, regardless of the consequences. I should really work on that.

Saw Terminator yesterday, and that 3D Monsters vs. Aliens the other night too. Both were about as good as I expected. Gotta hit up Star Trek this week.

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now

I always was better with a pen than I could ever be with the spoken word.

She told me I should be a writer, so here goes...

Tonight I've started writing the book I've been thinking about writing for years. It's going to be a memoir or sorts, running through the first quarter century of my life. All the regrets, the self indulgence, the stupidity, the great moments, the tragedies, and all the little things that piled up to spit out the over-analyzing fool you see before you today.
I'm gonna call it My Back Pages, circa Bob Dylan.

At this point I feel like it's going to end up as a mess of incoherent rambling and anecdotes that come out in no particular order. But organization can wait.
And once I get this behemoth written, I'll start into some fiction. Maybe a novel, maybe a collection of stories like Doghouse Roses. Get published with that, then bust out the personal shit.

Sell a million copies.
Make a million dollars.
Get the girl.

Who's the pitchers in this game?

Life never bothered to give me lemons. I just got onions instead.

Most days that I'm feeling shitty, I try to remind myself that we're all just tubes of meat held up by bones with blood rocketing through our bodies to keep us breathing.
We all have to eat, we all have to shit.
We're all just animals with overblown emotions that evolved into the things we now know as love/hate/fear/trust/jealousy/etc.

But some days it's a little harder to just accept that life as an animal ain't so bad. Some days things are as bad as they seem, and it's next to impossible to convince yourself otherwise.

Today was one of those days for me.

Everything may be coming up Millhouse, but nothing is coming up Mintvis.

And I think tomorrow is going to be one of those days that I just won't want to get out of bed at all.

I'll have to face a friend who's currently digging a knife in my back, a job that has turned into something it was never supposed to be, and a myriad of depressing realizations about my life that are pretty hard to take.
Then to top it off, in the evening I'll be seeing the girl whose heart I tore in two, for no apparent reason. And I still haven't made peace with that. Not by a long shot.



I already watched I Am Legend tonight, and I think it might be time for a little Cast Away.

Another day of decomposin' light

I have to say the recent change of scenery has done alot for my mood.
The past few days have been much less shitty, I do say.
I think the nice weather is helping too.
For the record, I think that bogus "disease" called seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is complete shit. James and I were talking about it the other day, and we got to thinking... if everyone feels shitty and depressed cuz it's cold, miserable, and dark all the time, how the hell can you call that a disorder? If we all have the same problem, it's not exactly special when one person bitches about it more than the rest. They're just complainers.

Anyway, the party last weekend was pretty solid. Killed a Texas mickey of Wiser's, which is kinda surprising, considering we had about half a dozen people at our place when the clock hit 9 p.m. I guess everyone was saving themselves for later in the night.
I can't say that I remember much beyond midnight, mainly due to the porchcrawler effect.

If you wanna make a porchcrawler, empty a can of frozen lemonade into a jug, fill that can with whiskey (or vodka if you choose) and toss it in, and then add 3 beers. Tastes like lemonade and it'll get you proper fucked.

My bro was gooned by the time anyone really showed up, and he paid for it in puke the next day. I think a few people ended up puking that night too, and apparently some dude took a wicked tumble out our front door and onto his face.

We even had birthday cake for James and Jake-hole.
It was kinda sad to be missing a few key members of our crew, but we had a great time regardless.

I thought I'd have trouble getting back into the work cycle this week, since every other time I've moved it's meant a change from school-to-job or vice versa. But it wasn't bad at all. I'm fairly motivated despite the lack of results I've been getting, and I'm hoping we sort some shit out in the next week or two. Mind you, a new project is starting up, so I might get pulled away from my main focus for awhile.

Back to the weather thing, I do love the summer dresses (see above) but when April ended I noticed a drastic drop in the amount of bitties running around this town. Sad tale, but I'm not exactly surprised. I'm sure there'll be a ton of girlies out on the patios this summer to gawk at.

I, myself, have even pulled my ass off the couch for a few runs already (hard to believe, I know). They last about 12 minutes since I have the endurance of a geriatric, but it's gotta improve. Can't get much worse than it is right now...

Exercise makes me hungry for secondary dinners.
Adieu.

Roll Out

It never seems to fail that I'm the last one to move out of a house.
All through university it was that way, and again I'm packing up alone.

It's kinda depressing to wander back and forth through this place while all the walls are bare and the rooms are empty. It's also a pain in the ass not to have a TV, but luckily there wasn't any hockey on tonight anyway.

I have to admit I'm glad to be leaving my current place.
Granted it was a good location, the price was sweet, and we dangled an 8 month lease out of the landlord, but the house itself is in pretty rough shape. The walls are crooked, the rooms are kinda tight, and the ants have begun to come out of the woodwork. I swear I've killed 20 in the last week.
Not to mention the whole "half an address" bullshit, since the house is actually behind the main strip along the road.

Plus this house has some shitty memories attached to it. I haven't exactly had the best time here, so I'm glad to be startin fresh in a new place.

Our new pad is pretty sweet, and it's definitely got more class and character than most of the places I've lived in. I'm lookin forward to throwing our party on Saturday, which may or may not involve a Texas mickey of rye. It's kind of a joint bday for James and Jake, plus a housewarming party for Mike, Jake, and I.
Should be a solid shit show.

I have many things to talk about, but for the moment I've gotta get back to laundry, dishes and packing.

It's all giving me mad AIDS right now.

It's kinda like laying down a bunt to Jim Abbott...

I've decided that I have way too much faith in people.

A few weeks back I took a huge suckerpunch at the bar, while trying to break up two meatheads who were drunkenly shoving each other. (Honestly, who blindsides the skinny kid wearing glasses?)

Last weekend an old buddy of mine was ready to knock me out over something I said to his girlfriend two and a half years ago. I basically said something to her in confidence back then, and I'm just finding out now that confidentiality ain't what it used to be.

All the little things are bothering me about the world lately.

I really feel surrounded by people who've been raised by televisions and gameboys. And the undeserved air of entitlement is nauseating. Where the fuck are the morals and decency? Where's the depth of character? And where the fuck were the parents in these peoples' childhoods?
It's kinda like looking around expecting to see lakes and oceans and all I see is filthy puddles. And it's goddamn depressing.

The world's not what I had envisioned as a kid. Everyone's in it for themselves.

I'm starting to think it might be time to join the party. Nice guys really do seem to finish last, and I'm the nicest asshole in town.

Maybe it's time to take the girl home even if she's too drunk to stand.
Maybe it's time to stab friends in the back and smile to their faces.
Maybe it's time to stop expecting people to do the right thing.
Maybe, just maybe, it's time to just lay down that gutless bunt, and wear a shit-eating grin on 1st base.
It seems to be working for everyone else...

A Breath of Fresh Air

I grabbed a coffee at around 9:30 this morning from the lunch room, and knowing that my boss was out doing errands around town, I didn't expect anyone to be in the lab when I got back.

But when I walked through the door I just knew somebody was there.

I couldn't see anyone; couldn't hear them. I couldn't feel any vibrations in the floor; couldn't taste their presence. But somehow I knew they were there.

I could fucking smell them.

And you guessed it, it was that stanky hoor Rezwana.

"The Due" has really been getting to me lately.

She can't tell the difference between mass and concentration.
She shuts down my computer files for no reason at all.
She wears the same clothes for five days straight.
She is a skidmark on Canada.

She perpetually asks "Tra-fus vare ees Erin?"
"I don't know you stupid bitch, probably out in the world doing something productive. Imagine the antithesis of your life - she's out there doing that!"

But today I received good news!!
Not only is she heading back to India due to "health reasons" (aka she can't hack it here), she's left our lab forever!!!!
My boss got to the end of her rope at the same time that Rezwana's supervisor did, and they both agreed that she wasn't accomplishing anything at all in our lab. So now the prof has to watch her every move back on campus, to ensure she isn't just mooching a paycheque anymore.

I'm all smiles.

For once I don't have to breathe through my mouth for an entire day straight.

Tired of waking up tired

Whenever I get home from work I feel incredibly tired.
I dunno what it is about this place, it just has that effect on me.

I can't say I've been sleeping much lately though, and a big reason for that is my old friend alcohol.

Two of our old roomies returned from South America last week, and crashed with us for a few days. They dragged us out to the bar on Thursday night, but I ducked out early. (As if 12:30 is early.) Like most normal people, I do have to get up on Friday mornings. Rat bastards...

At the bar that night our boy Pegs could barely speak, he was so drunk. We all did a dirty shot of tequila on James' dime. Nobody really wanted to do it bedsides James himself. Pegs took a half shot then threw the rest of it over his shoulder. Bender took it, then started drooling like an idiot back into his shot glass for two minutes. I just cringed with mine. James was unimpressed with our lack of masculinity.

Work on Friday sucked, even though I wasn't all that hungover.
But the night was a solid one. We hit up the Ceeps for old time's sake, and danced like fools to Kelly Clarkson and Katy Perry. As usual.
Bender, James and I bailed with a friend to get high, and left Pegs to his own devices. Turns out he got into our place through a window. We kinda forgot about him to be honest.
I was yelling at our friend's cat, calling it "Zherdev" all night long. As usual when i get near a cat...

Woke up at 6 am with Ben and James passed out in bed with me. Joy.
Apparently we were rocking out to Taylor Swift into the wee hours of the morning.

On Saturday we got rid of the boys at Ben's grandma's place, and then had to wait around all day for my wallet to get dropped off. Forgot the damn thing on a table when I got stoned...

That night we had a solid predrink with the crew on John, and ended up hittin Barneys. Not all that interesting, but I did get to see my old garage-mate from the summer. Farva stopped by to say hi, cuz we were supposed to have partied in the daytime but it never panned out.
His hand was all mangled from a fall on a beer bottle a few weeks back, and interestingly I cut my hand on a bottle at our predrink.
I have this handy little twist-off-helper-dealie on my keychain. Gomer's wife was trying to open his beer and couldn't, so i grabbed it and gave it a go with my device. Turns out the thing was on there really tight, and I ended up just shattering the glass off the top of the bottle. A piece about the size of a dime dug a good quarter inch into the pad of my index finger. I plucked it out right away, and the bastard bled like a mofo all night.
Stupid Sleeman Clear. Inferior shite.

The afterparty at Ty's made the night though. In a mix of about 10 of us, somehow 2 random girls showed up. They were cool and everything until we all came to realize that nobody knew who the fudge they were. Then they insulted a buddy of mine and I totally lost my shit on the one girl. hahaha. "Get the FUCK out!" I yelled, using huge arm gestures to indicate where the door was. Pretty hilarious. But they didn't leave, then 5 minutes later we were all talking as if nothing had happened. Can't really remember all the details (by any means) but we were boozing til about 5 a.m. Or so I'm told.

Ty kicked me awake at 2 p.m. Sunday, and I stumbled home with my fly down. Ran into KP and Em on the street, who politely informed me that I was a complete mess.

But it was such a beauty day that we ended up playing softball in the park for a few hours. James and I even felt compelled to smoke cigars and crush beers in the park. And until 5 o'clock or so I didn't eat a damn thing.

Had me a fat steak, and watched Broken Arrow that night. What a mint movie.

I had a horrendous sleep last night, and the snow and shit today just made the day that much worse.

I think it's time for a nap.