So Jesus came to visit Canada today....

Betcha he didn't count on this:

(Not that it was Canadian or anything. Leave it an American to be that racist)

The minto from the real story has a wicked name though!

I read a quote in the Globe today saying that the first officer on the scene got on the radio for help and said,

"There's a man down. He doesn't look good," he says, referring to the disfigured Ms. Nash. "We've got to get this guy out of here. He's got no face."

The whole thing is horrible yet strangely intriguing. And also hilarious in its own way.

The lonely end of the rink

I just watched the Penguins lose to the lowly Islanders.
What a fucking disgrace.
Not to mention the two recent losses to the Maple Leafs, who are a complete joke these days.

I think there's a number of problems that have led to this sorry state of affairs, beginning with how well the team did last year. Let's face it, they overachieved. And now the pressure of repeating something like that is just weighing down a young team too much.

Having Whitney and Gonchar out for so long certainly didn't help, and both of those guys have returned quietly, without making much of an impact. Hopefully they step it up soon, cuz the clock is ticking.

Fleury is overrated. He doesn't look comfortable out there, he's perpetually injured, and he's getting lucky most of the time he does have good games.

More importantly is that plug they call Malkin. This douche thinks he can take on the entire opposing team each time he touches the puck. And it costs the Pens tons of scoring opportunities, which is something that doesn't show up on the old plus/minus.
They should've traded him for some solid guys rather than sign him to a contract. Just look at the way he collapsed last year in the playoffs. He gets hit a few times and then he's a ghost. Very European, I must say.

Get rid of the fucker, and to hell with the stats he puts up.

And that's all I have to say about that.

"Never have I seen a man so excited about deodorant"

Fuck I hate getting my second wind at 10 p.m.
Had a nap after work, lazed around all night watching hockey and playin Perfect Dark with Jmath, and now I get a full head of steam. I actually wanted to go for a jog earlier, but I was far too lazy. Maybe some weights will tire me out enough to put me to sleep. Not likely though.

Work was ridiculously busy again today, but I probably accomplished the most in a single day thus far at my job. Thankfully tomorrow will be more relaxed. I just know I'm gonna be dead tired cuz I'm so wide awake right now. Always goes that way it seems...

On the good news front, I found something so elusive today at the grocery store that I almost crapped my pants.

You see, about three years ago the good people at Gillette decided to stop producing my brand of pit stick. Needless to say, I was fucking fuming. At first I thought maybe just a few stores had run out of the stuff, but after looking for months I figured out that they had flat-out fucked me.
As most of you children out there in radio land know, pitstick is a very personal thing. I had settled into my very specific type and when they killed it I was lost. I had been raving for years (old man-esque) that I was going to write a letter to the company and chew them out. But my laziness got the best of me and I just pissed and moaned to anyone within earshot.

But today I found it - that unmistakable shape with that oh-so-sweet consistency of solid gel (none of that shitty goop that Gillette still makes for some fucking reason) and that oh-so-important word "antiperspirant" - but it was under the name Right Guard, and being pitched as a "New" product.

Eat me, that shit ain't new.
And ten to one says Right Guard is owned by the same damn people that own Gillette anyway.

But I can't complain, I've got my baby back.
And the next time I'm up at Loblaws I'm going to buy the entire shelf of the stuff, no word of a fucking lie. You just can't trust the bastards anymore.

So my bill at the beer store was $145...

Goddamn TD.
I've never had insufficient funds in my life.
But these bastards put a weeklong hold on my paycheque that I deposited last Friday, and my stupid landlord took out a G-note on tuesday for last month's and this month's rent. Pricks.

So my burrs had to go on the old mastercard.

Fortunately my rent cheques cleared by $1.37, which is my current balance (sans cheque).
Mint that.

Anyway, I'll have to mooch money for boozing tomorrow night. But I did have a gander at my change collection (terribly exciting I know) and found that I have $263.50. And that's not even including my little "Niglet" who holds all of my smaller coin-age. I have no rollers though.

So fuck.

In lighter news...

Changed the layout, like it better now.

And has anyone seen that Single Ladies music video by Beyonce?
James and I sat there and stared at this thing the other day without saying a word.
Who knew somethin as simple three girls (one borderline man-face) dancing in a round room couple be so mesmerizing??

For some reason it won't let me embed, so here's the link.

They say you don't have a problem until you start bringin it home

Work is killing me lately.

I used to be a slave to the autoclave on the last project, but since we've started this new contract and sterility isn't an issue, I'm frustrated by less tangible (and hate-able) things.

The most stressful aspect of everything is the fact that neither my boss nor I have done any of the protocols we've been starting. Hell, I still haven't read over everything that was supposed to have been started last Monday. Not to mention the fact that I'm not even close to a fucking biochemist, so I'm sort of out to lunch on most things.

On top of the basic frustrations, the fact that before today all of my data was strewn all over countless sheets of paper has also been killing me.

I have no time to even think about the next steps as I'm racing to complete the current things.
The breath is down my neck for what always seems to be the least important thing at the time.
I jammed my wrist trying to bash apart a glass vacuum chamber.
My shit is going wrong all the time.
I'm working brutal overtime. 11 hour days are fint.

I guess that means I officially have a problem.

I got a left front tire throwin' thread, by tomorrow mornin' I could dead

Somehow I haven't updated on all the news that came over the Christmas break, so here goes:

1. Mintvis became an uncle (again). My step-sis Jess had a baby girl "Jahnavi" on the 28th of December. She was actually born about a month early, but her weight was good and everything worked out fine. It was just a bit unexpected, as my step-mom, dad and I had to race back to TO from Chatham the day it all went down.
2. My friends Mike and Erin got engaged on the 24th (I think... either that or the 25th)
3. My brother and his girlfriend Angela got engaged on the 28th, 29th, or 30th in Cuba. I dunno. Mangela is gonna be a part of the family now, so maybe I'll have to be nicer to her. Probably not though.
   
4. My buddy NVP and his girlfriend Laura got engaged too. No idea on the date of that one.
5. My cousin's youngest son swallowed a penny in Penetang and had to be rushed to sick kids in TO via ambulance to have the thing removed. Apparently he dropped some shreddies and when he scooped em up to feast, he took a penny with em. He then started puking all over the place so they had to get him help. But it all worked out. Unfortunately I had to vacate my bed at my dad's place to crash on a love seat at Findlay's downtwon. But it was good to chill with him so I can't complain.
6. I got coma-worthy drunk twice over the break (new year's included), and had at least a beer everyday during my time off. My boss gave me 2 solid weeks which was mint.
7. I saw Fred Eaglesmith with the old man. Jahnavi was actually born during the concert. Eaglesmith is mint.

The anecdote ends at about the 5 minute point. Solid fuckin tune.

Itchy toe

Today was a rather shitty day.


Woke up at twenty after five with a hangover and couldn't get back to sleep.
Car got stuck in the driveway, which made me late for work.
Forgot my keycard again, which makes booze pooz much harder to sneak in during the work day.
My gut was rotting all day long from a 3 day bender.
And I got home to find another terrible snowplowing job by our sketchbag landlord. Instead of actually clearing our driveway, he seems to think that plowing all of the snow into our parking space is a great plan. Not to mention he half covered our damn BBQ which I had to dig out of the snow bank just to use for dinner.

And on top of that I'm still hacking up a lung from this bloody chest cough.

Gotta love self pity eh.

The weekend was entertaining. Met some interesting characters and made a complete asshole of myself at the bar on saturday. That's what a hangover day without food gets you on the second night of boozing - raging drunk on only 10 beers or so.

Speaking of, I went to Cole's place yesterday for the NFL playoffs and we ordered up some Domino's for dinner. He raved about the wings but I was too hungover (again) to eat anything but the pizza. Worked out nicely for me tho, cuz Cole and his buddy felt like shit last night from the wings, and they might even have food poisoning right now, by the sounds of it.

Cards game (save the third quarter) was entertaining, but the Steelers win was a snooze-fest. Almost passed out with a beer in hand. Those two hits in the late game were fucking spectacular though, don't get me wrong.

Anywho, off to KP's place for a little 24 action. Hopefully Jack delivers the goods tonight.

These dreams seem to cost money, but money costs some dreams

It seems to me that most people are glad the year 2008 is over with and done.
Most people are probably just pissed off due to the economy, but alot of friends have legitimate claims that it was a shite year for all sorts of other reasons.
My year was, if nothing else, interesting as hell.

In 08 I,

• finally graduated from university

• took a trip to the mountains (never to return)

• drove the best relationship of my life into the ground for no apparent reason

• got my first real job

• sat in the front row, and sat in the bleeders

• could've died a few times

• met a ton of new people and made some solid new friends

• lost alot of respect for old ones

• spent way to fuckin much money, and saved none

• did more in one year than the past five combined

Even though it's an arbitrary mark on a calendar, lets hope the new year brings more good than bad. This last one was a little rough.

Please tell me there isn't another election on the way

I just finished watching Stephen Harper address the nation, and I've decided one thing from it:
politicians are robots

Did ya see how he seemed so warm and wholesome at the start, then moved through what appeared to be the pre-programmed straightening of papers, followed by some oh-so-timely Italian hand motions to emphasize his points? Then he turned back into a human being again a mere two seconds before the speech was over? Did ya see it?

Flat out embarrassing.

It's pretty amazing that only two weeks ago he was happy (I use that word with a heavy dose of sarcasm, since we all know he wanted a majority) with his strengthened minority government. Now he's pretty well screwed. Either be ousted by the hated Liberals taking the helm, or resign because nobody has any trust or confidence in him.

In the speech he noted that the people voted him into power. Yes, I guess they did, but is it just me or did 62.4% of the country vote against you? Did 55% of the seats not end up in the hands of other parties? Gotta love our system... so long as a minority government is elected, most of the country hates our leader. Ya wonder why voter apathy is so rampant...

Harper also did a great job of painting all Quebeckers with the same brush: the separatists.
Funny, those were the same evil people that you Conservatives were in talks with back in 2000 there chief, back when you were toying with the idea of aligning yourself with the separatists to take on the Liberals.

Hell, back then you even said that it was against the idea of democracy for the Liberals to freeze parliament to avoid being taken down. Now you're planning the same thing?? Pot.kettle.black.

Fucking politicians, always saying whatever is convenient at the time. But in our system, why not bullshit your way through 4 years (oops, I mean less than 4 years... but isn't it now against the law to call an election whenever the powerful parties decide to? guess not...)

But let's face it, Harper fucked himself.
Making it illegal for federal workers to strike?
Presenting no ideas to help the economy, instead looking for a barely-above-water surplus that had us selling assets to appear to be breaking even?
Telling the other (poorer) parties that their $1.95 (not exact on that) per federal vote would be eliminated?

Did this cocksucker really think he'd get away with this?
That's just arrogance, plain and simple. You can only pull that sort of BS with a majority.

And now, without reaching out a hand to say "hey guys, let's all look for a way to sort this out and actually help Canadians", he instead decides to get his back up in order to save his own ass. To this date, parliament has done sweet fuck all in since the election, and ya just know he's gonna ask Jean to prorogue so we can sit on our hands while the world economy crumbles. Great plan...

And now on to the coalition:

This is just stupid.
Do you really think that Duceppe isn't licking his chops at the idea of feasting at the big-boy table? Not to mention Layton, who's eager as hell to get his foot in the door of power. And the Liberals seem to be pulling all the stops just to get back into power. You don't go that long in the land of milk and honey without getting pissed off once it's all taken away.

Not to mention the joke of a leader that they elected. So now what? Wait for the Liberals to elect the new Prime Minister, while Dion runs the show for a few months. Pretty strange that it would come to that.

This whole plan may look good on paper, but in action it'll probably falter like a Ford Pinto.
And the alienation of the West is a huge factor too. Much like Harper has thrown in the towel in Quebec, so have the Liberals in any province west of Ontario.

Nothing like a little national unity in a time of crisis, right?

I'm hoping to see Dion's response to the Harper address. But there will be one major difference: Dion won't look or act like a robot. He'll look confused as hell. That's why he's such a shit leader... he's only pretending to be a robot!