The beginning of the "Top 5" Lists

If anyone's seen High Fidelity you know what I'm talking about with the Top 5's. If not, go see it now. "No", you say? In that case go fuck yourself.

In the weeks before I started work I had alot of time on my hands. That meant I could finally drag my ass to the gym and get back to my goal. I wanna be 160 lbs by the end of the summer, we'll see how that goes.

But returning to the gym routine reminded me of all the annoying assholes that work out alot. Hence, I have made a list of the top 5 most annoying personalities at the gym:

5) The Uninformed: This person has no idea what is going on. Every machine and dumbbell seems to be an enigma, but they try to look smooth when using them. Sometimes they'll watch from a distance until someone inadvertently shows them the right way. Rarely do they ask for help though. The funny part is, next time they show up at the gym they've somehow forgotten all that had been learned previously.

4) The Watcher: This person meanders around the gym doing as little as humanly possible, but always seems to be peeking over your shoulder. How much weight is he lifting? How fast is he running? Where's he going to next? Here's a hint: worry about yourself jerk.

3) The Struggler: These people, generally men, think they possess more power or stamina than they actually do. They try to lift too much weight or run for far too long, and the body can't deal with it. It's pretty obvious when they almost collapse after stepping off the treadmill, or are unable to move their limbs after wrecking them with 20 lbs too much, that they should ease off a bit. Noone really cares if you can curl 25 pounds or 30 pounds. Take it easy champ.

2) The Mountain Climber: No sexism intended, but I've only ever seen women do this. This person sets the incline of the treadmill to max height, grabs onto the handles of the machine, leans back as far as they can, and proceeds to hike up the hill with the handrail bearing a great deal of their body weight. Not only is this a stupid way to get fit, you also look like an asshole in the process honey.

1) The Musclehead (aka The Tough Guy, The Jerkoff, etc.): This guy's a real fuckin hero. All the ladies want him (at least in his mind). He walks around with his arms spread out a foot from either side of his ribcage. Hes got the armband radio, the gelled hair, the Underarmor worn on the outside. My favorite part about this guy is when he stares intensely at the floor between sets, as if there's somethin really interesting down there. The fact of the matter is that everyone else thinks you're a joke pal. You think we look at you with envy, but we're actually just laughing on the inside. Invest in a personality, and stop flexing that muscle in your temple. Maybe some blood will get to your brain that way.

So that's my list. Kinda cheesy I must admit, but that's what's been on my mind.

Gotta go get some errands done.