Ya, me too.
The only thing I've ever considered getting put on me was a Canadian flag.
And I'm not exactly patriotic, or a mindless cheerleader or anything like that, but I am damn proud to be a Canadian in this world. Plus everyone loves Canada; the great arbitrator and peace-monger in times of war and trouble. Especially the Dutch. Mint you Holland, mint you.
But like most tattoos, it would likely end up being yet another regret to add to the list. When you're 43 years old and married to a boring husband or wife, looking down at your bellybutton to see the name Stacy or Tommy staring back at you just won't hold the same meaning as it did when you were 22... Back in the days when you could look past that tattoo and see the top of your lover's head busily moving around down there. God-damn those were the days!
Not anymore though. Passion gets sucked out of you as you get older. I dread that.
But when you have something on your body that you can't get off, there's definite potential for disaster in the future. Imagine a gang member who gets branded, but grows up to be a law-abiding citizen. Then one day his old rival group recognizes his marks and busts a cap in his ass. Hardly fair, don't ya think?
And the same thing could happen with our country someday. You never know what the future holds.
This election we had last week is a perfect example. Imagine Canada becomes the mutt on America's leash (moreso than we are now), and the rest of the world starts to hate us like they hate the States. Odds are we wouldn't be wearing our flag-labelled backpacks around the globe without fear anymore. A symbol that once elicited friendly smiles could soon lead to a gun being pointed in your face, depending on your choice of vaction spot.
And it's not out of the question by any means. Canada's new leader looks like a rapist on the prowl for his next victim. I find it very unsettling, as I imagine many other people do. And have you ever seen that mortherfucker smile? Yeah... yeah... neither have I.
I'd rather have Mike Ricci represent our country at global meetings. At least other world leaders would just say, "My God is he ugly!" rather than, "Tom, pack the kids into the minvan and take them to my sister's cottage in the North country until this Harper guy gets on the plane for home!"
In all seriousness, I have real concerns about this new government. A few weeks back I stumbled upon an article in Now Magazine regarding the potential cabinet that the Tories will form. They described it in a single word: scary
To quote the staff of Now:
"Some of the names offered - Jim Flaherty, John Baird, and Carl DeFaria -are enough to turn off thousands of voters who remember what it was like to live under Mike Harris' vicious Nonsense Revolution.
Flaherty, whose record includes disparaging comments about the homeless and native people, was a dud as finance minister, inheriting a $1.9 billion surplus and leaving Ontarians with a $5.5 billion deficit.
Baird, who served as Community and Social Services Minister, was point man for the massive cuts to social services and drug testing for welfare recipients under Iron Mike.DeFaria, meanwhile, is famous for issuing a pamphlet of Christmas songs to constituents in 2002 - as Citizen Minister, no less - that included Stephen Foster's Way Down Upon the Swanee River, which refers to black people as "darkies".
Ottawa-area Tory MP Gordon O'Connor, also mentioned as a possible cabinet minister, is a former paid lobbyist for the defence industry who has on at least two occasions publicly pushed military equipment of former clients. Let's hope he isn't bucking for Defence Minister."
The article continues, but I think that quote made the point. Granted, Now has a clear bias towards the left of the political spectrum, and exaggeration is inevitable. Don't believe everything that you read, kids. That might lead you to vote Conservative next time 'round. It's a shame so many people voted Right this time, but at least it's only a minority hold on the government.
The problem lies in the fact that Canada doesn't want to hear the word "election" again for a very long time. So we're gonna have to settle into blue and white for now. And I'm not talking about the Maple Leafs, they blow dead bears. Stupid hosers.
Moral of the story: Don't get a tattoo unless it's something neutral. Then again, someday your pretty little flower or butterfly might be your least favourite part of your body.
Probably not, I'm just talking out of my ass now.