If you keep forcing the maple, eventually she'll take it!

Judging by this past weekend, it's gonna be one mint fuckin summer.

Friday night was the annual Fitch BBQ down in TO. It seemed like a long time since I'd seen the London crew, and it was nice to hang out for the night. Nothing overly special happened that night, except for a bunch of us nailing or heads off the door frames. It was the general consensus that the house was built for leprechauns or dwarves. Pumpkin (the cat) was in fine form, growling and hissing alot. I think she hates me most of all.
This year we actually went to a bar since everyone was of age. And most of us were feeling it the next day. A select few of us raided the cookie jar after a nature walk too. All in all, a good night. Oh ya! Forgot to mention that Leigh busted out the stunning "hyena" laugh too. Funny shit!

Saturday I drove down to St Catherines for the first of many trips this summer. Hung out with my bro and Calder for a bit at the start of the day. Colleen was there too, it's been awhile since I've seen her. Apparently she had the impression that in highschool I was a saint. I had the same view of her. Turns out neither of us actually was, so we were both kinda surprised.

I also got to talk to Mangela (my bro's lady friend) more than I did last time I saw her. That was good also. Thankfully my mom has stopped harassing me about her. "What does she look like?" "Is she smart?" "What's her cup size?" I don't fucking know! Leave me alone!

Now onto more important things. Deuce Dale, Calder, Ryan and I gave our best shot at the century club before anyone showed up to party. Obviously Dale made it, no surprise that Calder did too, but Fintarcy hit 87 then puked in the garden. What a waste of a tasty sausage. I think I made it into the 90s and got a sudden surge of the spits, so I had to quit. Granted, I was hungover when we started, but that's no excuse for a lackluster performance. It was my first time trying the century, so I'm confident I'll make it next time.

Alot of people actually showed up for the night, so we had to get two poker tables going. In my game Ryan lost early, Pascal did his best to throw his money away in a stupor, Calder lost when he should've won, Devreede hung in till the end, and some other guy did too. Naturally I won. hahaha. We did have to split the pot though, cuz we had to get to the bar.

Thompson kept bugging me to rock out to the Mars Volta, but I was pretty hammered and too involved in the poker game. Sorry about that man. He was a sober joke though, so I don't feel so bad.

We went to My Cottage where I'm told that I said a few funny things. The whole night I introduced myself as Mintvis, but at the bar I started singing "Save a horse, ride a Mintvis" which was funny to everyone else apparently. And Angela advised my to use the pickup line of "I'm giving away free sperm samples, want one?" or something to that effect. ThankfullyI didn't use it.

After the bar Dale, Ryan, Angela, and I were the last ones remaining, and we couldn't find a cab so we had to walk home. At least for awhile. I began to make Angela a bouquet of stolen tulips and other things. I kept pushing the maple branch but she wasn't keen on it. "If you keep forcing the maple, eventually she'll take it!" I said. Yet for every twig of maple I yanked down, Dale saw the need to pull down a limb. He brought down alot of timber, believe me.

We did catch a cab to the mall near 125, but we stopped to get some food. Then we walked the rest of the way home, Dale with a shopping cart, and me talkin' shit to mail boxes. They didn't stand a chance against my mighty kick. We grabbed a few pilons too, and put them in the cart. The cart was ditched in the boulevard by 125, under the power lines.

Everyone hit the beds when we got home, but I stayed up and talked to Caley's young lady friend. Thankfully I didn't hit on her (at least that I can remember) cuz I didn't know they were together. A couple girls came up to the kitchen and said to Caley that some big guy was passed out in the be they had shotgunned. To this I proclaimed "MIKE DAAAAAAAALE!" Then I went to bed.

The next day we watched from the kitchen as a "good samaritan" was about to clean up Dale's shopping cart. Turns out he actually just wanted the pilons. So he took them and left.

I packed up after a long and lazy day, and went home.

The end.