29 trips around the sun

 Favourites from the past year

 Tunes

5. Michael Jackson - Man in the Mirror

4. Decemberists - Calamity Song

3. Elliott Brood - Hold You

2. Joel Plaskett - When I Go

1. Black Joe Lewis and The Honeybears - Mustang Ranch

Records

 5.

 

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 Vids

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Bluesfest 2013

Despite my initial ho-hum impressions of the Bluesfest lineup this year, it turned out to be a solid week and a half of music, sun, and far too many beers.

I did the volunteer thing again this year, and we finally got some cool shirts for once. Every other crew was jealous, since theirs were all shit, but it's about time, I say! But pouring a billion beers was no easier than it had been before... so tasty looking... om nom nom

As usual I got to go to all of the concerts I wanted, and I made use of that privilege every single day this year. I even got to work a few shifts with cool bands to entertain me, so that was a definite bonus.

The first night started off with a cluster-fuck of me printing a ticket for Cait, and walking 90% of the way to the gig, only to realize I'd forgotten the damn thing at home. (Too many pre-game white russians I suppose.)
Anyway, I left her outside the gates, ran home shirtless, got booed by a friend passing by who didn't approve of my chest hair, then biked back like a maniac to get into the show. Saw this on the initial walk to the grounds, pretty badass eh?

 

Jimmy Eat World rocked out pretty hard, but when it came time for the much anticipated Black Keys, the volume was ridiculously low. The whole crowd kept chanting "turn it up, turn it up" between songs, but they never did. Everyone eventually just had to hush the fuck up so the crowd could hear the band. They were pretty awesome, I do declare. But I thought it was quite ironic to come across this little gem at the merch tent:

Oh, irony, thou art the Black Keys sound tech (who was quickly tossed under the bus by Bluesfest, who claimed they only require a minimum decible level, the rest is left up to the individual bands. Might wanna adjust that policy...)

As the festival rolled along, I worked my shifts, drank my burrs, and got to see all of the following at one time or another:

• She & Him (avec Zooey Deschanel)
• Justin Townes Earle
• Dixie Chicks (that concert was PACKED, heaps of rowdy jailbait)
• Wu Tang Clan (wat?)
• Tegan and Sara
• Eric Burdon
• Diamond Rings (ridiculous)
• Rush
• Mother Mother (amazing cover of Nirvana, a truly unexpected highlight)
• Weezer
• The Tragically Hip
• Matt Good
• Great Big Sea
• Stars
• Bjork (wat? lasted about 2 songs then bailed)
• Alice in Chains
• Yukon Blonde
• BB King

I saw a bunch of other gigs, but those were definitely the standouts.
A bunch of friends also joined for various nights, which were all a ton of fun. One highlight was desperately trying to find a ticket for a buddy of mine down at the grounds. I had my free pass, so we only needed one spare ticket. Scalpers were demanding $60 a pop, but a half an hour of asking strangers finally paid off when a volunteer sold us an extra for only $15. We tried to give her $20, but she told us to throw the extra into the volunteer donation bin, which we did with pleasure. Salt of the earth, these here volunteers.

Mr. Hand-on-Ass brightened one of my days.

And a matching murse lit up Cait's evening as well!

If there's one thing I learned this year, its the value of prescription sunglasses. Even got to see me some bonafide topless boobies.

But for all that Bluesfest has, it still makes me nostalgic for Edgefest and the Warped Tour back when they were hosted at Molson's Park in Barrie. Before it was a fucking parking lot.
You never see the kids crowd-surf anymore (probably cuz they don't want to lose their iPhones), the epic bowl beneath the main stage just isn't easy to recreate, and the weed and beer just don't go down with the same degree of free-loading for days/nights on end.

Maybe we took those days for granted; sure feels like it now. At least I'm trying my best to appreciate the present, lawd knows what ten more years will do to us.

Mute

Be flipping channels
Phone rings, pick it up
Hit mute on the TV
This comes on:

Confusion, skanks, awful haircut spliced with chaos and half boobies
Miley Cyrus... who dat?
Twerking white girl... what dat?
Turn off TV, burn it
Society be fucked

Beantown

They celebrated in the streets when the second suspect was caught, as if something had been won.

 

It's a curious sentiment from the masses. Scores of people are being obliterated by drone attacks (see  http://drones.pitchinteractive.com/ for a reference on exploding weddings and schoolhood dreams) and almost daily bombings (see http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/04/15/us-iraq-violence-idUSBRE93E07320130415 for bombs that no Americans give a shit about, despite being the finger on the original button) but no manhunts ensue. No flags in the streets when, and if, they catch the perpetrators. 

Now don't get me wrong, I think the bombings were deplorable and cowardly, as all such attacks are. I had friends down there when the bombs went off, but I can't help but look at this situation with a skeptical eye. And unlike the blind patriots and sensationalist media, I think things have to be put into perspective. It might sound cynical, but thankfully these guys were amateurs, otherwise it could've been much much worse.

The first obvious question has to be why didn't these guys run? It took at least 24 hours to release the security footage to the public (which I'll rant about later) but they decided to stick around and... shoot a security guard? Then carjack someone, but let them go? Even the most amateur "terrorist" must have the innate instinct to run the fuck away from the cops ASAP, wouldn't you think?

But then came the takedowns:



Nothing like the old adage of "shoot first, (hope to) ask questions later"
There was an excessive amount of gunfire, if you're assuming the cops wanted to take the suspects alive. That's a concerning "if". After all, Lee Harvey Oswald never got his day in court, did he?
We've all seen the infrared footage of the kid cowering in the boat, but that didn't seem to limit the amount of bullets thrown at him in the end. Enough to severely limit his ability to communicate after the fact, at any rate.

I found a couple of other things unusual about this whole thing too. Apparently the elder brother was made known to the US intelligence community by the Russians, but they subsequently deemed him to be harmless. Either they were flat out wrong (which is concerning), or they turned a blind eye (which is highly concerning). Call me a conspiracy nut, but it's difficult to keep public opinion on your side if you don't remind the masses of the enemy once in awhile.

And the other weird thing - why didn't they treat the younger brother as innocent until proven guilty? 16 hours after questioning began, they finally read the kid his Miranda rights. I know it appears to be pretty cut-and-dried in this case, but laws exist for a reason.

On a lighter note, I kinda had to laugh at the mish-mash of political opinions that came out of this whole thing. Up here in the Great White North, we've got a new leader of the Liberal party. Given that they aren't even the official opposition, I find it quite telling that the Harper supporters so quickly attacked the response of Justin Trudeau:

First of all, it's not unthinkable. 9/11 wasn't even unthinkable, all you really had to do was think and you'd realize it was somewhat inevitable. When people are marginalized and live in conditions where bombings such as this are commonplace (see above), bad sentiments tend to brew. Makes you wonder how shallow we really are in the proverbial rabbit-hole at the moment, doesn't it?

Anyway, when was the last time you heard a Conservative side with Obama?
On top of that, you can pretty much switch the rainbow over to Harper, given the later (quite rational, I do say) quote from Obama saying,

"There are still many unanswered questions. Among them, why did young men who grew up and studied here, as part of our communities and our country, resort to such violence. How did they plan and carry out these attacks, and did they receive any help?"

And last but certainly not least, lost in this whole mess has been this poor kid who "internet detectives" falsely identified as one of the bombing suspects : http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22297568

This innocent kid is dead due to vigilante justice gone awry. All it takes is a bunch of keyboard jockeys and an overzealous nutcase and you've got a recipe for murder.

'Murica. Fuck yeah.

One of the cooler vid's I've seen lately

Don't get hung up on the boobies, it's actually pretty legit:

Ernest goes to Venezuela?

Call me a hater, but when I saw this picture on the BBC's main page...

I instantly thought of ...

On a serious note, whenever I hear about a political leader passing away, I always consider the possibility that "natural causes" aren't natural at all. 

Don't believe everything that you read, kids.

The busy boring times

This year my holiday season started out with a trip to the Christmas show in Barrie, which is a sickening display of the commercialization of a religious event. Then again, Jesus was probably born sometime in the spring, or so I've been told. I always find it amazing how strongly some people cling to the importance of Christmas Day, even though it's probably a few months off. Further proof that religion isn't anything more than an interpretation of an idea., one that men decided upon centuries ago. Better get out and spend a heap of money to honour the savior though.

And what better gift than a nice little bench depicting Winnie the Pooh going all out cowgirl with Tigger, or maybe Eeyore is more your style? I love the grin on Pooh's face.

I also enjoyed this blitzed-out penguin.He's happy now, but wait for the paranoia to set in, I bet it'll be a sight to see. THE FEAR!!!

 

My holidays this year were actually a ton of fun. We kicked it off back home with  an ugly-sweater party followed by a horrendous hangover. The day of the hangover I had to head back to the party house to retrieve my wallet, and while standing on the porch I witnessed a poor little 17 year-old girl round a corner and lose control on ice, eventually smashing into a neighbours car. I was parked right behind that car, and fortunately I didn't take any damage. I was also fortunate that my parents and brother took care of most of the shopping this year, so I only had a few things to run around to find.

Shan and I took a trip down to Cookstown for shopping, but also to visit her dad's grave. It's amazing that he passed away five years ago, seems like just yesterday. En route to the cemetery we got stuck in a dead-stop traffic jam, which prompted a few drivers to pull U-turns and return to the highway. We figure there was an accident due to the massive amount of blowing snow, and after a few minutes the road cleared up and we started rolling again. Not 200 yards down the road we saw one of the U-turners stuck in the opposite ditch, to which I exclaimed "What a douchebag!" Once we reached the cemetary Shan and I had a long laugh that we would rather ridicule someone than, say, stop and help them out of the ditch. We're such pricks...

After gifts and turkey at my mom's place on Christmas eve, we did the same routine (with ham) at my dad's in TO on Christmas day. My big gift this year was a 50-inch flatscreen, which is quite boner-inducing. I got several other cool gifts along with some stuff for the apartment. The most hilarious gift I got was from my mom - it came in a box about the size and weight you'd expect if you were getting a nice 26er of Johnny Walker or something. I eagerly opened my bottle of Scotch only to find 200 metres of tinfoil. No joke. My brother and his wife sat there with blank expressions on their faces, which exploded into laughter after my mom ran down to the kitchen for some coffee. A short while later I opened a slightly larger and heavier box, again hoping for Crown Royal or something, and joked that "this one must be the Saran Wrap!"

I was ever so pleased to received 914 metres of actual fucking Saran Wrap. What screams GIFT like a kilometer of plastic wrap. First world problems, when put into perspective.

Boxing day was the normal routine of heading down to Chatham for the big family gathering, but Ryan and Mangela couldn't come this year because her family was hosting a similar event. My step-sister, her husband, and my two nieces did make the trip down though. I rode down with my dad, step-mom, and Janu the almost-four-year-old. My highlight was Janu singing "Santa Claus is coming... to WIRE!!" I have no idea how she came up with that, since no wires were in her vicinity, but she seemed to enjoy the lyric.

The dinner was good, and a bunch of us headed over to my cousin Eric's place for several burrs. There was a decent gathering of children so they were all preoccupied running around Eric's new and super sweet house. I'm looking forward to seeing the pool and massive deck in the summer. The adults got worked up with some board games and it was alot of fun catching up with some relatives I don't get to see too often.

The following day my old man and I went out to buy the TV at a solid price, and I headed out for beers with a few buddies. Ended up shooting pool for a few hours then killing the video games at my buddy's work - which is a ridiculous place filled with wide open spaces, free beer, and countless flatscreens. It was actually really nice to be free of the femailiens for a night. Them bitches be crazy.

Speking of, I ended up being the 21st wheel at the NYE party this year, since my date ditched me. I was happy to hear that she was the odd one out at her party too! Yay!

We've since patched that whole thing up, but it's becoming quite apparent that everyone is coupled-up and becoming very middle aged. Methinks ol' Mintvis needs to move back to the big city to be with like-minded folk who still enjoy a solid embarrassing night on the town as singles.

I did teach my middle-aged brother how to bet on sports over the break. He's become accustomed to making $1 wagers and earning a few quarters for his victories. I, on the other hand, do very little research and say"throw $10 on this, $5 on that" etc etc. I think he caught the fever. Unfortunately he pretty much breaks even, since he regularly disregards my stellar advice.

Alas, I've grown tired of this boring post. I need to get back to my novels, which I have actually started... damn this mind-consuming master's degree. Gotta get this shit outta the way and start living again kids!

Finally 28

For the better part of the last year I've been telling people that I'm 28. Now it's finally true. Sometimes life gets confusing, what can I say? Faves of the year:

Top 5 Albums

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Top 5 Songs

5. John Doe & Kathleen Edwards - The Golden State

4. Pickwick - Blackout

3. Ted Leo &The Pharmacists - My Vien Ilin

2. John K. Samson - When I Write My Masters Thesis

1. Patrick Stump - Bad Side of 25

Top 5 Movies

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Open Letter

Dear OC Transpo,

Have you ever heard of the horror movie “The Human Centipede”?

To summarize, a demented surgeon kidnaps and incapacitates unsuspecting victims. He then surgically grafts the mouth of one victim to the anus of another. He does this procedure twice, linking three people together in a chain, and the human centipede is born.

A short while ago I was waiting for the 101 in morning rush hour. This is a bus that’s supposed to come every 10 minutes. After 30 minutes of waiting (something that happens regularly), I finally saw my bus roll around the bend. I then noticed that another 101 was right on its tail. As the first bus pulled up to my stop, I noticed a third bus following the first two. All were showing the same route – 101. And there wasn’t a single car separating the buses, they were just sucking on each other’s exhaust pipes. It was an angering sight for every passenger on that route, let me tell you.

The look of this ridiculous string of buses reminded me of The Human Centipede, and I came up with the following analogy: The buses are the human bodies from the movie, with the drivers being the brains of the people trapped in the terrible situation. OC Transpo as a whole is obviously the demented surgeon. And the passengers? Well, we’re the ones that get on at the front and get off at the back. It’s hardly any wonder everyone hates OC Transpo when you treat us all like feces.

Good day.

Late 20's Now

Top 5 Albums

5. Gaslight Anthem - American Slang
4. Dan Mangan - Nice Nice Very Nice
3. Serena Ryder - Is It O.K.
2. Joel Plaskett Emergency - Ashtray Rock
1. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Top 5 Songs

5. Lady Gaga - Born This Way
4. Ray Lamontagne - Empty
3. Arcade Fire - Mountains Beyond Mountains
2. Joel Plaskett - Soundtrack for the Night
1. Queen feat. Bowie - Under Pressure

Top 5 Movies

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