Tough questions, tough answers

I've recently been contacted by several governments and NGO's to sort out the "10 Unanswerable Questions" that currently plague the interwebs. AskJeeves (somehow still relevant?) came up with the following questions, and I'm here to set the record straight:

1. What is the meaning of life?

Procreation.

2. Is there a God?

3. Do blondes have more fun?

Yes, but mostly because hoors bleach their hair as an excuse for their stupidity and sluttiness.

4. What is the best diet?

A balanced one. Idiot.

5. Is there anybody out there?

Yep!

6. Who is the most famous person in the world?

Hitler.

7. What is love?

8. What is the secret to happiness?

Pornography.

9. Did Tony Soprano die?

Who the fuck cares? It's a TV show, get a life.

10. How long will I live?

Until you die.