Words in print

I'd like to start off with a little opinion letter I read in the London Free Press the other day:

Pope’s fantasy world

Your front page article "Pope insists other churches not true" (July 11) blew my mind. Anyone who believes this kind of statement in 2007 is living in a fantasy world.
The only true church is the one that was practised by believers in the first century. Read about it in the Bible in The Acts of the Apostles. There were small groups of Christians who lived out this true faith through the centuries and a few who still do today. Many became martyrs then as well as today.
No church can claim the true path to salvation. Jesus Christ holds that distinction exclusively.

POSTED BY: Noel Paterson, London
POSTED ON: July 16, 2007

EDITORS NOTE: As published in The London Free Press on July 16, 2007.

"No church can claim the true path to salvation. Jesus Christ holds that distinction exclusively." And what of other religions? I guess they're all wrong because this guy says so?
Yet he's the one who thinks that everyone else is living in a fantasy world.
Ironic, sad, or disgustingly ignorant?
I say all of the above.


In other news, my boy Sid the Kid signed for another 5 years with my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins last week. Though he could've easily taken a deal for the league's maximum salary, he chose to take a few million less in order to help the organization build a stronger team. Good Canadian boy, you gotta love it.

Oh ya, and in more "news" the CBC has reported that "Canadians approaching retirement are now the fastest-growing demographic in the country"

I put the word news in quotations because unless you have been in a coma for the past 50 or 60 years, you'd likely say be inclined to say NO FUCKING SHIT!
This isn't news! This is the most predictable shift in our demographic EVER!

I also finished reading another book today - East, West by Salman Rushdie.
And upon concluding these tales, I'd like to punch Salman in the face and tell him "It's SALMON you jerkoff, there's no second "a" in there. It's a tasty fish, try some."
Then I'd like to kick the idiot publisher who thought this book worthy of printing.
Just brutal.
Vonnegut told us to learn how to write without using semicolons; Rushdie must've taken that to heart. The only problem is, he doesn't know what a fuckin period is either.
Learn to write!

(I realise I just used a semicolon, I did it to be ironic)

Oh... oh naggers. Of course... naggers. Right

MySpace flat out confuses the fuck out of me. I've only started to look into the workings of it, but goddamn is it difficult to manipulate so far. I'm mainly going to use it as a connection to bands via friend additions, but beyond that I think I'll stick with the better photo quality on Flickr, and the better reading frame of this blog for anything I write. And considering I have yet to learn how to play the old guitar very well, it'll be a few years before I offer up any master workings of musical art.

I'm not exactly a techno wiz, though I have managed to get about a 10% grasp on how to use this blog. And I think it's pretty decent, but I'm constantly annoyed by the layout, colours, etc. and whenever I try to fix it up properly I always get too damn frustrated to finish. (Incidentally, I just removed the backround picture to make the thing about a thousand times easier to read.) I've been debating whether or not to add a counter to the bottom of the page, but two problems arise. One, I have no fucking idea how to add a counter to this blog. Two, it's probably less depressing if I don't know how few people actually read my tripe. Not to say I'm writing any of this to draw the masses in, but you know what I mean.

I've been watching alot of South Park lately, so I decided to check out some stuff online. I came across that avatar creator here (I'm sure thousands of people would call this yesteryear's news, but shut up. It's new to me.) There are some damn funny combos you can come up with. Here's my self portrait, so to speak:


I've finally made some progress in the house hunt, but it seems like the pickin's are getting kinda slim. I've got a couple of places to look at tomorrow, and I hope they look good enough to live in for 8 months. If not I may have to become a squatter in my friend's laundry room.

Let's see, what else is new. I'm feeling kinda sick lately. Summer colds piss me off. My sleep has been erratic at best over the last few days, and I hope I can get it back to normal before the weekend is over.
I was actually supposed to go up to Welland for a party tonight, but the house thing has kept me in town. It's actually kinda nice to have a quiet weekend to get my shit together for once, and save some cash in the process. Though it is a pain in the ass I couldn't get up to the party.

I finished a Kurt Vonnegut book the other day during my lunch hour and breaks. Finished the whole damn thing in less than a day - miraculous. It was a great read, titled "A Man Without a Country", and it was basically a Carlin-esque look at the current state of affairs in the world through the eyes of a man who can joke about anything from the end of the world to Nazi death camps. Very entertaining.

Well I'm tired and I gotta get my sleep in order.

Night.

"If George Bush said we need men right now, I'd go"

It's amazing how neocons preach about how great and necessary the war in Iraq is, how honourable it is, how well it's going, how righteous America is, yadda yadda yadda...



but they never want to get their own hands dirty.

"Oh I love George Bush!"

Pathetic.

False Pretenses

This is a new video that's been released by the IAFF about Giuliani's responsibilities and failures when it came to 9/11.
Sure was an eye-opener for me.

Be the cat

I've been reading alot lately.
Novels and short stories and shit, and it's amazing how my online reading has dropped off.

I think there are two reasons for it -
#1 I have tons of spare time at work, and I need something to entertain my mind.
#2 my disappearance from the online world for a few weeks at the start of the summer. It really does wonders to ruin your sense of connectedness with the world outside, especially when you're used to keeping daily tabs on a site like Crooks and Liars.

I've also been watching a ton of movies and listening to tons of new albums as well as old LP's. The reason for this is simple enough too - I've got a house to myself, which means my personal taste and opinion runs the joint. Nobody complains, not even the girls who live below me when I've got the bass thumping at its loudest.

The summer is flying by, mainly because my weekends are always busy. I've only had one weekend in London without anything "going on" per say, and I hit the town with friends on both friday and saturday night. The weekend stuff is getting expensive though, and it's not about to stop anytime soon. With tuition due mid-August, it's about time to start shitting my pants.

The other day I was actually checking the BBC to see if anything positive was developing in the world - but as usual it's all going to hell in a handbasket. But one headline caught my eye and I laughed instantly: Terror fight "may take 15 years"

Is that not the most ridiculous fuckin thing? The arrogant bastard thinks that terrorism can be defeated! Bomb bomb bomb until all the terrorists are dead! And it won't even take two decades! I bet he also thinks that Saudi's fly planes into office towers without any logical precipitating cause.
Until the World Police realize that most of the world doesn't want them to be meddling in their affairs and bombing their babies, I think terrorism will remain pretty healthy. After all, children don't develop amnesia 15 years after a bomb has ruined their house and family.
Wake the fuck up.

In other news, I've got my schooling all sorted out for the coming year. Another full course load, even though I only really need a fraction of them.
It looks like 3 of us from the old place will be back, one will be gone to Ottawa for teacher's college, and the other two are Alberta-bound to work for a few months at least.
Now we just have to find a place to live and we're golden.

I also had a chat today with a friend of mine out east. We've laid down the groundowrk for a post-university move to Ausi-land to live and work for a time. Who knows how long it'll last, or when the idea is gonna get legs and walk, but I really do want to travel, and I love those sexy accents.

My friend Darrelle has committed herself to her music of late, and is doing a bunch of shows around the golden horseshoe. Ever since the first time I heard her play I thought she sounded amazing, and I'm glad to see that she's playing regularly.

Party boy is back from a year in Korea, and Sonya's off in South Africa for six months.
Bender and the boys are back from their multi-country European vacation, and my good friend Shannon is doing her Argentina/Bolivia thing right now, before a trip to the States and then a flight across to Europe to work in the fall.

See? Everyone's globe trotting, except poor old me. Haha.

Oh ya, Matt Good's new album is being streamed through his website, even though it's not due out until the end of the month. I gotta say, it's pretty solid. Despite the irritating intro to the first track, and the covers he recorded (in my eyes they're some of the weakest songs he's ever put on an album) it's pretty damn good. At first I though a few of the tracks sounded too similar, but once you hear them a few times they really differentiate themselves. Lyrically it's mighty impressive, and he's got a passion in this album that I kinda expected given the circumstances that led to his writings.

I guess it's gettin on bedtime. Lots of reading to do, movies to watch, and records to take in tomorrow, so I gotta get some sleep.

Lack of originality V 1.0

A long time ago a read a post somewhere that was bitching about how much of a rip-off artist Jack Johnson is, particularly with his album cover for In Between Dreams. It was compared to a Sam Roberts album cover with a similar lookin tree.


Granted, he is an unoriginal bastard who recycles the work of others, but to compare that album cover to We Were Born in a Flame is somewhat hypocritical.


Just have a look at k.d. lang's cover from Hymns of the 49th Parallel. And that album was released prior to Roberts' album.


It's tough to say who came up with the tree first, but it's kinda funny that within a year 3 albums came out looking almost identical. Except for Johnson who threw us a curve by adding the yellow.

He's a cunning and deceptive bastard, ain't he?

Duck Hunt

if there's one mystery in my life, it's gotta be duck hunt

i mean seriously, how the fuck did they do it?


you've got a shit-assed 8 bit system, a few cables, an orange and grey gun that shoots magic, and any television set under the sun
throw in a smiling dog and you've got yourself a party

but how the fuck did they do it?

how does the tv know when it's been shot, let alone where it's been shot?
how is it possible for the system of such abysmal quality as the original Nintendo able to decipher a message that travels through thin air?
how does it know where the duck is when you shoot the fucking thing?

things like this keep me up at night...

She's got a hat and all the hat says is "asshole"

Joel Plaskett Emergency

Ashtray Rock

For a follow-up to the mini-EP that came with Make a Little Noise, I gotta say I expected more from this album. In my mind this record should have been released early in the band's career. It sounds polished, but the subject matter is just too juvenile. There's even a track called "Drunk Teenagers", and at this point Plaskett ought to be moving forward, not looking back at his highshool days. Despite the theme of a band breaking up (a throwback to the demise of Thrush Hermit?) this record just lacks intensity and passion.
I've read reviews saying it's Plaskett's best record yet - they're idiots. I've read reviews saying it's his worst yet - they're idiots too, but less so than the former critics.
Maybe it'll grow on me. Who knows.

Best Tracks: Face of The Earth, Cruisin', Nothing More to Say

Kings of Leon
Because of the Times

Their most produced-sounding record to date, Because of the Times still delivers what I love from the Kings - a unique sound that sets them apart from the crowd. So many songs get you doing the head-nod, your damn neck is sore after it's played through. They keep things pretty simple, but also pretty solid. McFearless is arguably the greatest name ever applied to any song ever. And these brothers just have such confidence in their music and their style you can't help but hear it on every track. The lyrics though... better bust out the liner notes for those. As usual.

Best Tracks: Fans, True Love Way, Ragoo, On Call

Modest Mouse
We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

To me, this record is even better than Good News, and it surpassed my expectations. I listened to it once and tossed it on the backburner in favour of the raucous Kings of Leon album, but when I gave it another listen I picked up on alot of stuff I had missed the first time around. Now I'm on the 57th time around and I'm not even close to bored with it. I love the random noises, the odd transitions mid-song, and the catchy stuff too. Can't wait to see em again in concert.

Best Tracks: Missed The Boat, People As Places As People, Dashboard, We've Got Everything, Florida

Arcade Fire
Neon Bible

Yet again, a nice surprise to see these guys follow up an awesome record with another one. Gotta love that. Though I haven't listened to this album as much as the aforementioned, I still think it's worthy of a write-up at this point. Unlike their last album that centred around death, this one focuses on discontent in the modern world, and the angst that builds up when you feel that you can't escape any of the bullshit that lingers in everything you do. These guys also have a sound that defines them, and they definitely brought conviction to this record. Highly respectable, definitely worth a listen from start to finish.

Best Tracks: Keep the Car Running, (Antichrist Television Blues), Intervention

The Fine Art of Falling Apart in the Stanley Cup Finals

Let's be realistic. Anaheim did not deserve to win the Stanley Cup.

They deserved to win one series.
Minnesota was a complete joke from day one. Vancouver was so tired from their first round battle that they had nothing left. And I'm convinced that Detroit was only eliminated due to bad luck and poor officiating. (The 3rd and tying goal by the Ducks in the 4th game of that series, the one where Hasek was literally shoved into the net with the puck sitting on his leg, never should have counted. And it all went downhill from there.)

Ottawa on the other hand, did deserve to win the Cup. Well, at least 3 of the 4 rounds anyway.
They saved their choking for the fourth and final round this year, unlike so many years in the past. Nothing seemed to be going their way, and Spezza and Heatley were out to fucking lunch the entire final series, despite romping the league in the lead up matches.

Niedermayer got the Playoff MVP title, and though he did play well, he wasn't deserving of that trophy either. I'm glad they didn't do the cliche thing and give it to Giguerre, because he was less than spectacular. (Much like Emery in the finals. He looked amazing in game 2, but besides that he gave up a weak goal in every one of the 5 games.)
Personally, I think Daniel Alfredsson was the MVP of the playoffs. For years he's been eaten alive by the press and fans, and always took the blame for the Sens bowing out of the playoffs early. But this year he lit the lamp the most out of any player (including 4 game winning goals), and lead his team with ridiculous penalty killing and solid play, pretty much every game. I think a big reason he was denied the Conn Smythe was that shot he took at Niedermayer in game 4. Beyond that stupid play, he was everything Ottawa needed in a leader.

But now it's finally over (shit, it's only June) and I know what's next - months and months of Leafs Nation laughing about how Ottawa failed.
But guess what fucko's - the Leafs couldn't even make it into 8th place in the conference! Then again, most Leafs fans are too stupid to understand the concept of a glass house.

I'm pretty pissed that the Sens lost, but I look on the bright side:

• We got to party in Ottawa for the only Sens victory
• The Cup will spend most of its time North of the border, what with all the Canadians on the Ducks
• And I won my hockey pools. Let's hear it for beer and money!
  

Be Red

I just got home last night from a weekend trip up to Ottawa for the Sens' first home game of the finals. It seems like half of our time was spent on the road, but we had a great time regardless. Steve, Bry, and I were the only ones to make the trip, as James bailed at the last minute (probably cuz he's a Maple Leafs fan and can't stand Ottawa) and Mike had already lined up a Jays game on Saturday.

After an hour delay on my train, we settled into Bry's blue '96 Buick Regal (Custom Edition) and headed for the nation's capital. We pulled up to our friend Kristen's place at midnight and hung out with her for an hour or so befor ecrashing. They set us up pretty nicely with matresses and comforters and everything, so we had no complaints at all.

Saturday we wandered the town in our Sens t-shirts and saw all of the parliament buildings and everything. I'd never been to Ottawa before, save for one time we passed through to get to Hull, so it was cool to see all of the oldschool buildings in town.


After spending the afternoon checking out appartments for Bryan in the fall, we settled into a bar down on the main strip and started drinkin. That was about 4 o'clock. We were pretty loaded by gametime, and we had all signed up for credit cards to get these sweet Senators blankets. Our group at the bar included us boys, Kris and Graham, along with her sis and her husband, a few friends of theirs, and a couple of Kristens friends too. We all got shitfaced.

My favourite part of the bar wasn't when Ottawa scored, but the national anthem that everyone sang at the start of the game. it was pretty funny, I bet the whole city was singin it along with that minto who belts out the anthems for the Sens at the arena.

And after the victory the street was total chaos. Gow and I wandered up and down for blocks at a time just giving high-5's to any-and-everybody we saw coming towards us. We even ended up running into a girl named Nadine that we had met this year in Cuba.


And after a long bus ride back to Kristens we crashed for the night. And by 10 a.m. Sunday we were heading back down the highway towards Toronto.

All told - a mint weekend.